After taking a required Intro to Psychology course as an undergrad, I have never looked back. Since my doctoral program, I have specialized in adult relationship therapy. Through my studies and clinicals, I wrote several articles for professional journals and currently in the midst of writing a book.
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How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl
While talking is a natural thing that humans do, making conversation flowing with a women is a skill that one has to perfect with practice and patience. Learning how to keep a conversation going with a girl will help save your future conversations.
Once you start talking to an amazing girl, there will always be all that pressure to start and maintain a good conversation. So how do you go from the shy and anxious person to the guy who makes girls swoon over them? It’s not rocket science once you learn the basics of how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
Pauses and Awkwardness
When you experience awkward silences each time you’re around your crush or girlfriend, this is a crucial moment to know how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
But before you try to outdo yourself, note that silent moments and pauses are a natural part of conversations. While a long awkward silence might be uncomfortable, too much talking is stressful for both parties. So, take time to find a middle ground where you both stay engaged and interested in the conversation.
Not speaking doesn’t always mean a lack of interest, especially for people with long-term commitments. On the other hand, silence can be nerve-wracking for those in a new relationship or trying to get attention.
20 Tips on How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl
The pleasantries and small talk are always the easiest part of any conversation, and they will get your ball rolling. However, they are also a significant part of your first impression, and you always want to leave a good one. So if you like a girl and would love to talk to her, there are several things for you to keep the conversation going and make it great and interesting.
Face-to-Face
1. Read Her Body Language to Determine Her Interest
Among all, pay attention to a woman’s nonverbal cues not to be setting yourself up for uncertainty and rejection unnecessarily. It is true most women are not very concise with their words, but you can always trust their body language to tell you the truth.
Tell-tale signs she is interested in you:
- She holds your eye contact for over two seconds. If she flutters her lashes, winks, or looks in your direction severally, congrats! She is super into you.
- She preens herself. Does she twirl her hair or reapply her lipstick? Is she checking her reflection in the mirror or playing with her earrings? Well, you can make your move because she definitely likes you too.
- Her body is open and relaxed. Her arms move freely, and her chest pushes outwards.
- She smiles at you and might bite her lower lip or licks her lips.
- She faces you and leans toward you when you talk.
- You notice subtle touches and “accidental” brushes.
Signs when a woman is not interested in you:
- She will avert her eyes and avoid eye contact
- She makes zero effort to look more attractive
- Her arms are folded, and her chest is hidden
- She is tense and has a frown
- She will turn her body away from yours or start a conversation with another person
- She will avoid getting close to you or stand at a distance.
Use these tips to make a move on a girl who is interested to start on a positive note and establish a real connection on mutual attraction.
2. Introduce Yourself
Sometimes, not all conversations have to start with a pickup line. Learn some simple and personalized intros you can use and make them appropriate for your age and situation.
A classic example is, “Hey, I’m John. I come here all the time but have never seen you before.”
This is a great conversation starter in public spaces, and it’s a low key way to initiate conversations with a girl you like.
3. Do Not Force the Conversation
Avoid speaking simply because you can. Suppose you want to keep a conversation flowing and your partner to stay interested. In that case, keeping track of the highs and lows is very important.
Regardless of how stimulating your conversation might be, you don’t have to keep speaking. Slight pauses in conversations are an indicator that you’re actually paying regard and that you take time to consider and process what you’re talking about.
4. Steer Away from Personal Questions
Unless the other person brings it up, avoid asking or talking about health, family, or financial issues. Regardless of how well you’re acquitted, such topics often change the mood and flow of the conversation.
Be a good listener if the other person brings up such personal issues. A dating coach’s advice would be to avoid making any judgmental remarks or comments. If you want to keep a conversation going, keep the conversation light to avoid any uncomfortable conversation topics.
5. Pick Out Your Conversation Starters Carefully
Of course, everybody wants to start a conversation by talking about the weather. While it is easy for both parties to warm up to the topic, generic conversation starters are not always the best option for the initial conversation. You’ll find that the conversations will fizzle out slowly. You’ll be back where you started.
Find shared interests that might make her notice you, such as a favorite drink or love for tattoos. Such conversation topics are more likely to grow deeper, and you get to spend time with the girl you like.
Related reading: How to Be a Better Lover – Inside and Out
6. Always Ask Questions
There are a million things under the sun that you could find interesting enough to talk about, but how would you transition them into your conversation? Asking more questions is a great way to start and keep the conversation going without it getting boring or intrusive.
“The idea is to ask her things that lead naturally into conversation, not to pepper her with interview questions.”
Patti Novak Williams, professional matchmaker & dating coach
In addition, questions give you a chance to follow up on interesting things during a conversation with a girl. It also makes it easy for new topics to arise, thus making the conversation longer.
However, there is a right way to ask a girl any question. Avoid asking too many things so you don’t come off as too strong and eager.
7. Ask Open-Ended Questions
If you want to keep a conversation going, a dating coach would advise you to ask a lot of questions and ensure they are open-ended. Avoid questions that will bring forth short and curt answers such as Yes, No, and Okay.
While such answers might keep you talking, it’s not really a conversation, and there’s no point in it.
On the other hand, open-ended and interesting questions allow the girl to explain more about anything. You can also ask her to elaborate on particular details to keep the conversation flowing.
Pay attention to detail. pic.twitter.com/5sg8aNDMgB
— MBU (@MBU) March 24, 2023
8. Pay More Attention to Detail
Girls appreciate guys who can notice the little details about them, and she’ll feel seen and appreciated. Naturally, men are inclined to notice the body, smile, and hair of a woman they like. Most likely, you’re not the only man who does, so it is imperative you work a little harder to get noticed, especially for those using dating apps or an Instagram profile.
Every minor thing about her is the potential for a great conversation; all you have to do is ask about it. When you notice her tattoo ask about its inspiration, show interest in a book she’s reading, try to guess a brand of her shirt or jewelry. Is it the logo of her favorite band? What is her favorite song or album from them? Is that her birthstone on her jewelry? When is her birthday, or what’s her sign? These interesting topics make the impression that you are genuinely interested in talking to her.
However, steer clear of anything that might make her feel uncomfortable or insecure. This mostly includes aspects of her body or outfit. In addition, do not give backhanded compliments, such as “You look so comfortable!” This statement always implies that the other person didn’t care to dress up to your standard or that you think their outfit is inappropriate for the situation.
9. Be a Great Listener
Suppose you want to be a great speaker who can keep a conversation going. In that case, you must also be a great listener. You will be on the right track if you pay attention to her while she’s talking. Girls love when a guy can remember the little details about them.
88.9% women consider kindness as an important trait when choosing a partner. 86.5% list supportiveness.
However, knowing things that she has not told you about makes you creepy and suspicious, and she might stop speaking to you.
10. Offer To Buy/ Pay for Her Drink
Whether you’re at a bar or a coffee shop, buying her drink is the easiest conversation starter. If you’re willing to spend several bucks on a drink, it shows that you’re interested in a girl.
Buying her drink also opens a window so you can know her more. For example, what is her favorite drink? Is there a story behind it? Can she make her favorite drink at home? There are many ways guys could drive a conversation on a topic about drinks and beverages, and all you have to do is be curious.
However, please take things slow and make sure she is equally interested before you start spending on her. Otherwise, you’ll break the bank trying to impress every girl around you. As such, it’s always advisable to strike up a conversation before you offer to buy her a drink.
Texting
Most of these skills are great for when you’re meeting someone face to face. This way, you can see their reactions and body language in real-time. But what do you do when you want to initiate a conversation with a girl via text? Once you get her number or match her profile on a dating app, how can you make a conversation sparkling?
When initiating text conversations, you’re often at an advantage because you can use fun icebreakers such as gifs, memes, and photos. In addition, texting allows you to take a moment and consider your options to keep the conversation going.
11. Strive for Open-Ended Questions
It’s very easy to get ignored or receive a dry answer if all you send is ‘Hey’ and ‘Hi’. So other than pleasantries, try and add context to your questions.
For example, “If you had to list your favorite movies, which ones would make the top five?” Most girls appreciate men who don’t always talk about themselves.
If you want to send a good morning text, consider asking about her plans for the day too.
Related reading: Out with the Cliché Second Date Ideas
12. Ask for a Recommendation/Suggestion
This will make her feel valued and let you learn what she likes. This is a great way to start leading the conversations toward first dates and hangouts. This is especially cute if you like the girl in a romantic way and would want to take her on a date someday.
To keep it going with a girl, you can ask for a recommendation about anything, such as books to read, music, or where to eat.
#Confidence in Yourself Makes Anything Possible | https://t.co/5PbG5TkvTb #selfimprovement
— Online Dating (@onlinedatingweb) February 20, 2018
13. Focus on Her Interests
Women are more likely to engage in conversations about stuff they care about. Learning more about her likes and dislikes allows you to find common ground between you both.
Once you have something fun to talk about, it becomes easier to make up an inside joke that will make you laugh. The best thing about this is that it only makes sense to you two.
14. Make Use of the Keyboard
The keyboard has numerous features to spice up your conversations and keep them lively and charming.
Other than gifs and memes, you could also send her photos you took during the day that would make her laugh. Alternatively, you can send her a song you think she would like.
If you’re still fresh in the talking zone, you could send her a trailer for a new movie or a link to a new album by an artist she loves.
15. Stay Timely and Relevant
It’s normal to feel anxious and over-eager when texting a pretty girl. But since you always want to be texting her, it is important to ensure you always talk about relevant stuff happening in real life.
For example, you can talk about the latest developments in politics or pop culture. Is there an event happening near you? Would you like her to accompany you?
Alternatively, you can opt to make small talk about shared experiences or highlight a particular moment from the day or night. For instance, “Still can’t believe how long the storm lasted last night.” Sometimes, keep it going with a girl just by noticing your surroundings.
16. A Texting Game Never Fails
At the start, it might be tough trying to initiate conversations. In addition, you might introduce a topic she finds boring and uninteresting.
So before you can dig up any common interest, popular games like ‘Would You Rather’ will help you get out of the woods. Such exciting starters make for a fun conversation. They are also a great way to keep your talk light hearted and exciting.
17. Give Her Genuine Compliments
If flirting makes you nervous, you might not enjoy talking to girls you like. However, giving compliments is an organic way to flirt that will show a girl you like her.
Unless you’re well acquitted with a girl, avoid compliments about her body and appearance. Instead, compliment her personality or sense of humor. This will indicate that you appreciate her holistically, not just her looks and body.
18. Use Emojis
It can be very hard to detect the tone from just reading a text. However, using emojis can help to liven your conversations and relay your messages setting the right vibe. If you’re unsure of what emojis to use, start by placing smiley faces at the end of a text.
Please note that winky faces are mostly used in flirty and suggestive contexts.
19. Avoid Sending Multiple Texts at the Same Time
Unless you’re both sending multiple texts at the same time, avoid double texting. Unless she’s also a rapid texter, avoid double texting. Wait till she responds to your text before you can send another.
If you don’t know how to pace your messages, wait till she responds and follow her lead. If her answer delivers after a minute, take the same time to send another text. Matching her pace will prevent you both from feeling overwhelmed or ignored.
20. Stop Texting If She’s Uninterested
This last tip is the best relationship advice you can get when you like a girl.
It can be very hard to talk to a girl who is not interested. They will send one-word texts, short responses, and dry messages to signal a lack of interest in you or the conversation.
Give her time to respond since she might be occupied, then follow up once. If she’s still cold and uninterested, let it go. Conversations are only fun when people want to talk to each other.
If she asks you to stop contacting her, respect her boundaries.
Keep Talking!
The best conversations might be a random occurrence in your life. But with practice, each conversation you have can be fun and exciting for both parties. Learning how to keep a conversation going with a girl allows you to create more intimate and holistic relationships in life.
Geoffrey Williams
