After taking a required Intro to Psychology course as an undergrad, I have never looked back. Since my doctoral program, I have specialized in adult relationship therapy. Through my studies and clinicals, I wrote several articles for professional journals and currently in the midst of writing a book.
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Kindred Spirits—What, Who, and How
We have many people connections in our lives – romantic relationships, a deep friendship with one or two others, familial relationships, co-workers, and acquaintances. In most cases, there is a history of connection to put the right label on your relationship. But sometimes, you can encounter a stranger and recognize an immediate connection on a deeper level than usual, as if you have known one another forever. That’s a kindred spirit.
As clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, Ph.D., says, “The connection is inimitable and often defies verbal description.” In other words, you are on the same “wavelength,” with energy and immediate understanding that you mirror one another and have found each other to provide mutual support and encouragement.
Those who take a more spiritual view of kindred spirits feel that a deep sense of belonging and connection results from having spent past incarnations together. But even if so, is this just another term for soul mates or a romantic connection that is deeper than many relationships? We’ll find out if it is so in this article.
Kindred Spirits vs. Soul Mates
“A connection with a kindred spirit may be fleeting, where you spend only a brief time together but share an intense bond. Or, it may be lifelong, where you manage to maintain a strong connection despite time or distance… Even if you do not see one another for a long time, reuniting with a kindred spirit often feels like no time has passed. You can easily pick up your relationship right where you left off.”
Sabrina Romanoff, clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University
Soul mates and twin flames, their close cousins, are, first and foremost, romantic relationships. They are based on each romantic partner having love, passion, and physical intimacy for and with the other. And two people involved in these romantic connections may have common interests and values or be polar opposites (i.e., opposites attract). The relationship is also emotional by its nature.
Soul mates and twin flames may fall hard for one another and go through an infatuation stage in the beginning. Further, they may decide to call it quits and move on.
Related reading: Soulmate or Twin Flame? The Difference Clarified
Kindred spirits have a relationship that is not based on romance. They recognize a bond that is impossible to break, whether they are physically together for short periods or for life. They may be friends, family members, or strangers accidentally met at an event. No matter their connection specifics, kindred spirits tend to recognize one another even without the need for conversation.
Do kindred spirits share common interests? Often. Do kindred spirits feel safe and as if they belong with each other? Yes. Do kindred spirits share an understanding of each other’s feelings without speaking about them? Yes. Do kindred spirits experience peace with one another? Yes.
10 Signs You Have Met a Kindred Spirit
How do you know you are kindred spirits with someone? Here is a checklist you can use to explore the possibility.
1. Immediate Connection
Unlike the growth of a “normal” bond with a romantic partner, this “connecting” is immediate. It may feel like deja vu – it’s a former memory of sorts coming back to you now. And you fall back into a continuation of that bonding that you had before.
You immediately know you are in a safe space and can speak about anything, knowing that your feelings and innermost thoughts will be understood and accepted without judgment.
2. Same Beliefs and Values
Beliefs and values play important roles in recognizing a kindred spirit in a stranger. They don’t necessarily refer to interests or hobbies but more to a philosophy of life, spiritual beliefs, and principles of morals and ethics.
You may be on different paths, but that doesn’t impact your deep bond with this person. In fact, you mutually support them long before you’ve met each other and became friends.
3. Unconditional Support
Kindred spirits do not judge one another. Instead, they support each other’s path. Once they understand those paths, they push each other in those directions, pointing out how they might realize their passions and goals.
Pointing out the truth to each other is a form of encouragement, and it is given in a way that does not make the other uncomfortable.
Related reading: What Is Self-Reliance?
4. Deep Level of Understanding
Kindred spirits have a deeper level of connectiveness. They automatically tune into one another’s emotions to give help. Kindred spirits don’t need to hold anything back – they can let it all hang out despite their feelings and not worry about fear or embarrassment.
Friends understand each other to a point, and they try to support your goals, interests, and issues. But that friendship only goes so far. They have their life challenges and attitudes and will often put yours in the “backseat” as they work on themselves. Such a friendship is valuable but incomplete, and you may not open up to them about everything.
5. Synchronicity
Simply put, synchronicity refers to coincidences that happen without a cause. These may present themselves as the same thought at the same time. Kindred spirits are prone to this phenomenon.
6. Supporting Each Other’s Spiritual Growth
Most people need friends because life is lonely without them. But a friend is not a kindred spirit with whom you form a deep bond to share your deepest thoughts.
Friends may not understand your need for spiritual exploration and growth; they will support you unconditionally. But your kindred spirit will understand and push you into that exploration to gain greater wisdom. And if you and your kindred spirit remain in contact, that exploration may continue throughout your lifetime as you connect and create a bond of mutual growth of spirit.
Related reading: Step Into Your Spiritual Awakening Path
7. Unconditional Acceptance
Very few people in your life will love and honor you unconditionally, even in normal friendships. That may be reserved for your parents or your dog. But kindred spirits also have this type of love and acceptance, and that remains throughout their journey together, whether together or not.
Kindred spirits give you a bond that not all friendships can provide.
8. Sense of Belonging
Friendships can create a sense of being a part of a group. But the presence of a kindred spirit goes well beyond that. It’s almost like a sigh that they have landed in their place of highest comfort.
Your friendships can be fleeting. People move apart, they lose touch, and those friendships dissipate. With kindred spirits, though, distance and time don’t matter. Whether they communicate in person, in writing, or via messaging, they feel at home in that bond they share.
9. Being Complementary to One Another
It’s false to believe that one kindred spirit is totally in sync with their kindred spirit in all life aspects. Of course, they do feel an emotional bond and share key ideas about values, life courses, personal growth, and spiritual energy. But, in the details of their existence, there is no need to be attached at the hip.
Kindred spirits may have different strengths, challenges, worldly interests, and goals. This lets them learn from each other and provides a life balance.
10. Bond That Surpasses Time and Distance
Kindred spirits tend to be separated – after all, they do not live parallel existences even if they share past lives. But when they re-connect, they fall back into that connective energy they have always had.
It’s as if there was no separation at all. This is why many believe that kindred spirits are deeply connected at a soul level, even through past lifetimes.
Are Kindred Spirit Connections Always Platonic?
Kindred spirits tend to begin their bond on a platonic level because that’s where it is. But later on, a kindred spirit may develop romantic feelings.
Can it play out, though? Well, it depends upon the feelings of the partner’s kindred spirit. But yes, this does happen between kindred spirits from time to time.
If you want to check whether your kindred spirit has some romantic feelings for you, use our checklist. In this article, we wanted to show you who a kindred spirit is, how kindred spirits are connected, and how their bond operates in reality. If you don’t feel you have found one, keep searching. It may happen when you least expect it.
Geoffrey Williams
