Is your boyfriend jealous? Maybe someone you’re dating casually has already shown several subtle signs, but you have yet to notice! If so, it’s no surprise – such things can be hard to tell, especially if you don’t know the exact list of subtle signs a guy is jealous.
We are here to provide you with this list so you can crack the code, learn if you have a jealous guy, and know what to do about it.
20 Subtle Signs a Guy Is Jealous
Are you dealing with a jealous guy or making wrong assumptions about his feelings? See if he shows these most common signs of jealousy!
1. He Makes Snide Remarks When You Talk About Other Men
A jealous man doesn’t always wear his emotions on his sleeves or reveal his true feelings through body language. He may not become angry or upset when you mention dudes. Instead, he becomes dismissive and snide when you bring them up.
You mention that a guy in your class had his research published. You notice that your gue changes to folded arms and he rolls his eyes. It’s easy to get published in that field, he claims.
In this case, your guy’s body language reveals his attempt to one-up other dudes because he doesn’t want you to think he couldn’t live up to them.
2. He Gives You The Cold Shoulder When You Talk to That Specific Guy
“Jealousy, that dragon that slays love under the pretense of keeping it alive.”
Havelock Ellis
This is a sure sign he’s jealous. Your man walks by as you are texting that one dude that makes him feel uncomfortable.
Nothing is going on between you, but it doesn’t matter. His mood sours, and he gives you the cold shoulder for the rest of the night. He is cool about other guys but can’t take your friendship with this particular guy at face value. So, he allows himself to get upset and behaves like a giant baby – a big sign of a jealous man.
3. Your Guy Shows His Romantic Side Suddenly
Up until now, your man’s best charm tactic has been ordering you the extra large cherry coke at the local bodega. Now, he’s turned the romance up to maximum levels. This is definitely out-of-pocket behavior for him, even if you enjoy his newfound romantic interest in you.
If he wants you and everyone else to know that he has feelings for you, there is a good chance your guy may be jealous. Your jealous guy may also think he could lose you, and that’s the rationale behind that big romantic gesture. This way, he wants to be sure you know he is interested in you.
Related reading: How to Know If You Are a Hopeless Romantic
4. He Flirts With Other Women in Public
One of the biggest signs a guy is jealous is his efforts to make you feel the same way. He may turn the tables if he believes you’ve been flirting with other fellas.
Do you notice him turning on the charm when other women are around? Your guy may have jealous feelings, and he wants you to know how that feels.
5. He Becomes a Bit of a Show Off
When a guy gets jealous, that can trigger his urge to establish dominance. Since it isn’t socially acceptable to challenge the largest male in the room to an epic fistfight, showing off is the next best thing. In a group setting, he might:
- Find excuses to show off his strength or physique to one up other guys
- Get into debates with other men to show how much smarter he is
- Suggest activities that allow him to show off his talents
- Crack joke or otherwise make himself the center of attention
6. Your Answers Are Suddenly Suspect
At first, he casually asks you about your day. Where have you been? Who is that guy who says hi to you at the coffee shop? When you answer running errands and “just a friend,” he seems fine with it.
Eventually, that changes. Your answers are no longer good enough.
Jealous people tend to be inquisitioners. They make you feel like they are trying to catch you in a lie or an inconsistency. It’s exhausting because all you have to do is misspeak, and you spend hours arguing with him. This is one of the more toxic signs he is jealous.
7. Your Social Media Becomes Really Interesting to Him
When it comes to social media relationships, there is a wide range of normal for couples. Some people interact with one another’s social media all of the time. Other couples don’t really engage on social media except under certain circumstances. There truly is no right or wrong until things change because your guy gets jealous.
Sometimes that behavior is relatively harmless. He just gives off signs he is jealous when he suddenly starts commenting on and liking your photos, tags you in couples’ pics, or even changes his relationship status. Sure, he’s jealous, but he is just making his true feelings public.
Be wary if you notice signs that his behavior online is becoming threatening or toxic. For example, he starts picking arguments with men in your comments section or sulks all day simply because a guy likes your posts.
8. He Gets Weird When You Mention Your Ex Boyfriend
He may not exhibit signs of jealousy when he sees you hanging out with your guy pals. But, the moment you mention your ex in any way, he gets moody.
Let’s be honest, it’s kindf understandable. You probably shared a lot with your ex, and not just sex. You and he likely had inside jokes and plenty of other individual moments that have become fond memories for you.
Related reading: Thinking About Getting Back with Your Ex? Read This Before You Go!
9. When You Need Help, He Becomes Super Available
“I get jealous because I am afraid that someone is going to make you happier than I do.”
Frank Ocean
There are some signs he is jealous that don’t involve anger or frustration. Instead, he deals with his jealousy by becoming super helpful. Do you need furniture moved? He’s available.
Is your car in need of repair? He’ll clear his entire Saturday just for you.
The purpose of this is to ensure you know that he is very interested in your affections. It’s also his way of becoming your go-to guy when you need something. He doesn’t want anybody else taking care of your well-being.
10. You Get a Lot of Checking-In Texts
Are you looking for more signs he is jealous? Check your phone! If you are getting multiple messages from him checking up on you, that’s a sign he is jealous.
You may need to remind him that he needs to respect you enough to allow you to spend time on your own without being tracked and monitored.
11. He Wants to Fast Forward Your Relationship
Last week, you and he had a define the relationship convo. He made it really clear that he wanted things to stay casual. Then, he found out that one of your game night buddies is a really sexy dude.
Suddenly, things have changed. Now, he’s talking about making things exclusive. He’s also interested in meeting your friends. Be careful. He may think he is ready for the next step, but his jealousy might be clouding his judgment. Neither one of you should make any relationship status decisions based on emotions.
Related reading: A Guide to Growing an Exclusive Relationship
12. You Catch Him in That Sneaky Phone Check
He knows he should respect your privacy. He’s also overcome with jealousy. He’d never be so blatant as to open your phone and start reading your messages and emails. But he might take a quick glance at your notifications or take a sneak peek over your shoulder while you’ve got Messenger opened. It’s like he thinks you’ll be searching for single men dating.
In addition to evidence of his jealousy, it is also a strong sign that he thinks pushing boundaries is okay. Stand firm and communicate what is and is not okay when it comes to accessing your devices.
13. Your Friends Report That He’s Been Asking About You
If he’s asking your friends about you, that could mean he is just a little jealous. He’s trying to check up on your activities and see how you really feel about him. Hopefully, your friends respect your privacy enough to avoid feeding him information.
He needs to learn to come to you directly rather than getting your friends to spill the beans.
Related reading: Boundaries in Relationships – Keeping Them Healthy
14. Those Mood Swings Are Crazy
To learn about signs he is jealous, check those crazy mood swings. He starts the night with you happy and content. The next thing you know, he’s sulking, or worse, storming out the door. What is going on with him?
These abrupt mood changes are often clear signs of jealousy. He is sure he saw something, which makes him think he has a reason to feel threatened. The worst part of this is that it’s often his own imagination that gets him in such a state.
15. He Judges Other Relationships And Other Women
He won’t always complain about your love life. He doesn’t want to start a fight. Instead, he will externalize things with judgmental comments about other women and their relationships.
He won’t tell you not to be open and flirtatious when you talk to other men. Instead, he will make a rude comment about another girl’s body language. You may even hear him say disparaging things about other men and how they handle their romantic relationships.
This is a not-very sly way of telling you what he does and doesn’t find acceptable. He’s also communicating that he thinks that if a guy likes to let his girlfriend socialize freely, he must be a simp. Gross.
He thinks he’s being masculine and establishing his boundaries. The reality is quite the opposite. Do you really want to be with a guy who thinks and talks this way?
Related reading: 9 Things You Can’t Forgive in a Relationship
16. He Gets Is Tough Guy Persona on When He Meets Other Men
Picture this. Your guy comes around to hang out with you and your girl friends. He’s all smiles and having a great time. Then Mitch shows up, and it’s like a switch has been flipped. Your man is no longer cracking jokes and being the friendly life of the party. He barely acknowledges Mitch with a head nod. Later, you swear you catch him staring Mitch down.
You don’t really need any other signs to understand that having another guy around makes him feel envious and threatened.
17. He Avoids the Conversation of Jealousy
It’s time to have a talk about your love life. Specifically, you would like to talk about his jealous nature. The problem is that he dodges you every time you bring it up.
That denial is a sign that he doesn’t want to talk about the jealousy he feels.
Related reading: What Is Retroactive Jealousy and How to Overcome It
18. Suddenly He Wants Your Relationship to Have Rules
Maybe he wants to have a relationship convo? You know, the one where he agrees to see only you, and you agree to drop all of your male pals?
He may set as many rules for himself as he does you, but make no mistake. His goal is to stop you from doing anything that he finds threatening.
19. He’s Aggressive When He’s Around Other Men in Your Presence
Things may not get to the point of violence or physical contact, but he is seriously out of control when other men are around. He picks fights and finds a reason to be insulted at every turn.
This is a dangerous sign that he has serious jealousy issues. Run, girl!
20. Personal Space? What’s That?
Oof! You love a bit of PDA as much as anybody, but he can’t keep his hands off of you. He’s super affectionate, but it doesn’t seem right. It comes off more as marking his territory than genuine love and closeness. Maybe he wants to be seen snuggling with you to send a message to other men.
Jealousy FAQ: 6 Top Questions About Your Jealous Guy
1. What Does It Mean If a Guy Is Jealous?
You know the signs a guy is jealous, but what does it mean? Simply put, he sees your interactions with others and finds something threatening about them. Sometimes, he feels threatened and thinks your relationship with another guy means you will cheat on him.
But all jealousy isn’t about cheating or breaking up. Imagine that he sees you cracking jokes with that fun coworker of yours. He starts feeling jealous because he doesn’t have those fun interactions with you. Maybe he doesn’t have the clever sense of humor your male friend has. He may also feel jealous of the other guy’s looks, money, or charm.
It’s good to know why he is jealous. That way, you know if you should tell him to knock off such behavior or reassure him that you think he is a great guy.
2. If a Guy Is Jealous, Does He Have Feelings?
If you see signs a guy is jealous, does that mean he has feelings for you? Most guys won’t feel jealous if there isn’t something between the two of you. Ideally, he genuinely loves you or likes you quite a bit and feels jealous of other guys because his feelings are so new.
Jealousy can also be a part of narcissism or unhealthy possessiveness. If your guy is a narc, his jealousy may be less about you and more about how he thinks he’s being perceived. After all, he can’t have people thinking you can get the attention of other guys or have positive relationships with other human beings.
If he acts possessive, his jealousy may lead to negative emotions and immature behavior. His jealousy stems from objectifying you. That’s not a sign of a healthy relationship. He needs to fix his low self-esteem and his view of women.
Related reading:
3. Is It Good or Bad If a Male is Jealous?
If you see signs a guy is jealous, should you be flattered or worried? Generally, jealousy should be viewed as something negative. It leads to negative feelings and behaviors that don’t bode well for a healthy future together. This goes for you as well as your jealous lover.
Related reading: Setting Relationship Rules For a Healthy Partnership
4. Are There Any Negative Outcomes When a Guy Is Jealous?
If your guy is jealous, there’s a good chance he will make you both miserable. A jealous man might obsess over your interaction with other guys, pick needless arguments, or try to forbid you from hanging with your male friends.
5. Does Romantic Culture Use Jealousy to Encourage Women to Be Toxic?
Have you ever been told that if a guy gets jealous, he cares about you – and if he doesn’t, you should be worried? The idea is that jealousy is simply a sign of love and care. It’s a common message that women receive in subtle and not-so-subtle ways, even from childhood.
This leads women to use jealousy as a weapon. If they make their man jealous, they may be able to get attention or gifts. Sadly, some women crave the drama and attention this creates.
Guys are responsible for feeling jealous and how they behave. Nobody with a healthy respect for women makes excuses for jealous guys who act like creeps. That said, if you deliberately stoke his jealousy, that’s also a serious no-no.
6. Should I Give Up My Guy Friends If He Is Jealous?
No, you should not give up your male friends to cater to his negative feelings of jealousy. You have the right to any platonic friend of any gender. He needs to accept that you have male friends.
You can encourage him to talk to you about his jealousy towards other guys. Sometimes, having a dialogue about that thing can help. He can understand that you aren’t demonize him for his emotions, but you won’t be giving up your male friends.
Then, encourage him to do some introspection. If other men make him feel intimidated or insecure, he can work that out alone or with a therapist.
Takeaway: The Difference Between Good And Bad Jealousy
“Never underestimate the power of jealousy and the power of envy to destroy. Never underestimate that.”
Oliver Stone
Now, you know the signs a guy is jealous. It’s also important to understand what that means for you. There’s nothing wrong when guys feel jealous. They have the right to their own feelings. The important thing is what they do with that jealousy and how it affects your relationship. If he takes ownership of his jealous feelings and uses the to become a better boyfriend, that’s great. On the other hand, be wary if he expects you to change to cater to his jealous tendencies, gives you the silent treatment, is passive aggressive or shows other telltale signs of toxic behavior. Each of these is a red flag, and you need to set clear boundaries about what you will accept.
