After a devastating relationship breakup, I threw myself into the dating scene by registering on Hily. I had over 100 dates - some absolute disasters, some pretty average, and some that were actually great. So many stories to tell and insights to share with you guys!
14 Signs a Casual Relationship Is Getting Serious
For some, it’s a dream come true; for others, it’s a sign of a nightmare. As you spend time with that other person and you both enjoy your casual fling, that casual dating relationship may start to feel a bit more serious. Are you still able to enjoy that casual sex, or is spending time with each other leading to a more serious relationship? Here are the telltale signs a casual relationship is getting serious.
How Do You Know If a Casual Relationship Is Getting Serious?
When looking at the signs a casual relationship is getting serious, note that not all road maps are absolute. These 14 signals are just a few ways that tell your casual dating relationship is changing.
1. You’re Emotionally Invested in the Relationship
Very little emotional investment is going into casual relationships. Commonly, being in it is for some casual sex and physical intimacy. However, when you find yourself having thoughts and feelings that go above bare minimum investment, it’s likely that this is turning into a serious relationship.
Related reading: What is NSA in Dating? Let Freedom Ring!
2. You’re Meeting Their Friends
When you are with a casual partner for the sake of casually dating, you will most likely not meet many of their friends or family members. However, if you find them introducing you to everyone they know and you are establishing a place in their circle, you are not on the casual dating scene with them anymore. Things are getting serious between you two.
3. You’re Texting Every Day
As you both develop deeper feelings for each other during a casual relationship, you may end up texting each other more and more. If you are exchanging things outside of the realm of casual dating every other day, that is among the signs a casual relationship is getting serious.
4. They Assume You’re Spending the Holidays Together
When in a casual relationship, spending time together or even a holiday with each other is perfectly normal. However, when someone of you makes the assumption that you are going to spend every holiday with each other, you are likely entering a more serious relationship.
Related reading: Think You Found the One? Don’t Miss These Stages of Falling in Love!
5. They Choose to Be Vulnerable Around You
Whenever you find yourself in the world of casual dating, it’s likely that at first you and your partner are going to be on the same page emotionally. It should feel like there is a wall between the both of you as all of your vulnerabilities are blocked off.
However, as you start investing more time and energy into this casual relationship, you may find that those walls start to come down. If someone of you is actively choosing to be vulnerable around a casual partner, it’s very likely that your connection is becoming something more.
6. They’re on Your Mind a Lot
If you find yourself thinking about them a lot more than what would be deemed necessary, it’s possible that you are entering a more romantic relationship with them. When things are casual, it’s easy for you to meet and separate with no hard feelings, expectations, or regrets; but when it’s serious, you start feeling something about them.
7. You Want to Say “I Love You” to Them
This can happen even if you have kept things casual. Since you first start dating each other, you may find that over time you find start wanting to tell them that you love them. This is usually the last step in the process when the casual relationship is getting more serious. Once you get to this point, it’s safe to say that you are catching feelings for that person.
Related reading: Dating vs Relationship – What Are the Main Differences Between Them?
8. Sharing Your Hobbies and Interests
You both find yourselves having an hours-long conversation about all of the cool things that you both share a genuine interest in. You enjoy the same things and feel like even outside of the casual hookups you both could be very good friends. If you both share the same hobbies or are developing similar interests, that is a good indication that your casual relationship is becoming something more.
9. You Know Each Other’s Family
Knowing each other’s friends is one thing. After all, you can still keep a relationship casual, while being entwined with each other’s friends. However, note when the person you are casually seeing starts to introduce you to more people than just friends, like their family members. That is one of the most clear signs that the relationship is getting serious.
Of course, if you got to this point without seeing any other signs that the relationship is getting serious. Then you likely are already in a serious relationship with them.
10. Having More Meaningful Conversations
You end up having a conversation about things that are important rather than just talking about the things that concern your casual relationship. For example, you talk about your interests, your fears, your future with each other, and more. You may even take notice of new fun things that your partner is interested in while you’re talking.
11. You Start Seeking Out One on One Fun
Even if you aren’t dating, you may find you and your partner finding reasons to spend solo time together. You may just hang out and have fun playing video games or being online together. Still, this should be in the top two or three signs your casual relationship is evolving into a romance.
Related reading: Powerful Signs of Male Attraction – A Checklist for You
12. They Take Your Opinions Seriously
Here’s a clear sign that things are getting serious. When your friend is becoming a partner, they become interested in your opinions. This won’t just be over casual things either. They may ask your thoughts about work, school, or even money. That nightly conversation you once had over gaming, movies, and memes could take a very serious turn.
13. You Both Start to Experience Jealousy
Jealousy is a powerful sign of growing value you have for them. They notice that your coworker is always flirting with you. You see them dating a new girl each week, and you hate to admit that it bothers you. Such types of jealousy are among the top signs your casual relationship is evolving.
14. They Talk About the Future
They tell you about their future plans and where they see you in their life as time goes by. They see you as more than a casual hookup, and even more as a trusted friend. As they imagine a life in the future with you present in it. It only makes sense that they have gained feelings for you that can lead to a more serious commitment.
How Do You Stop Feelings in a Casual Relationship? 6 Strategies for You
For some, having your casual partner become your lover is a dream come true. For others, it’s an incredibly stressful moment of clarity as you realize that your casual relationship is getting serious.
As you find yourself developing romantic feelings for them, you may end up at a crossroads. Are you both on the same page and wanting to explore these new emotions together? Or is catching feelings a serious commitment that you want no part of?
Here are 6 ways you can stop developing feelings for each other. Use them if it’s relevant for you both. In the end, developing more intimacy is very natural for a relationship. Choose to cut things off not out of fear.
1. Take a Step Back and Look at the Relationship from a New Angle
Before you do anything else, take a step back from the relationship and get an idea of where your mutual understanding is at. After all, you may feel like you are gaining feelings for them but they may not share them.
It’s important to understand that you both may not see things the same way. If you don’t want them to be anything more than a casual hookup, you need to make sure that your casual relationship isn’t becoming more.
2. Be Honest About What You Want
If all you want is a casual relationship with a casual partner with no strings attached, make that clear from the beginning. Do it even if the person you are with is what you consider to be long term relationship material. Unless you change your mind and decide that you want to dive a bit deeper into the relationship that you entered with them.
3. Minimize Your Contact with That Person
If you believe that there is a bigger sign that you are entering a serious relationship with someone and you don’t want that, try to spend some time apart. It may take a few days or even a few months to go back to where you once were. However, there are a lot of good ways for you to spend your free time.
Go see your friends and start spending some much-needed time with them. Go on a date or two, and just wait for the signs your casual relationship is going back to normal. Then you can be a part of each other’s lives again.
4. Reject All Gifts and Gestures
One of the signs that your casual partner is catching feelings for you is when they start to give you gifts more often than necessary. These gifts are a sign that your casual relationship is getting to be serious.
If you want to establish this limit in your casual relationship, it is best to take a step back and establish a boundary when it comes to gifts. Tell the person you are with that you don’t want the gift. Calmly explain that you don’t want to be anything more than a casual connection.
5. Stay Off of Social Media
If you’ve been seeing each other for a while, it’s likely that you both have been talking on social media for a while. As you try to figure out what you want in your partner and your relationships with them, it is important to take a break from each other. Falling away from social media for a while is another good way to give yourself a much-needed break. Take them to allow yourself time to think about what you need to be honest about.
6. Avoid All Forms of PDA
If you sense your partner is falling in love with you and want to slow things down, be mindful of your behavior. Avoid public displays of affection or making intense eye contact. Even if you don’t mean anything serious by these gestures, they make your affection as a sign that you feel the same way they do. Also, if it becomes clear that physical intimacy is sending the wrong signal, that should end as well.
Final Questions on Good Sings a Casual Relationship Is Getting Serious
Dating life is complicated. Now you’ve read the signs that a relationship with another person is becoming serious. You also know what to do if you are not ready to sign on to an exclusive commitment. So now, here are some other commonly asked questions about serious and casual dating.
What Is Casually Dating Someone?
When you date someone casually, you do so without an intention of forming an exclusive relationship. You may genuinely feel a lot of affection for them and love the time you spend together. However, you are not ready to date only them.
Do Casual Relationships Ever Turn Serious?
It’s very subjective. You and your partner need to talk about things like that and be on the same page. One of you could see your situation as something fun and casual. However, in the other person’s mind getting a first date may always be the start of something serious. So, don’t hesitate to speak your mind and ask your partner how they are feeling too.
Are You Ready to Get More Serious?
Only you the answer. If you have doubts, read through the signs listed above. Then, think about how you truly feel about this relationship. There are no right or wrong answers. However, the person you are with deserves your honesty. Likewise, if you think it’s time to pursue a relationship for life, you must be prepared for the possibility of rejection.
Related reading: A Guide to Growing an Exclusive Relationship
When You See a Sign from Your Casual Partner, What Will You Choose: Casual Sex or Serious Relationship?
When it comes to casual relationships, it sucks to be on either side of things when it is clear you and the person you are dating want different things. Sometimes, it can help to lean on friends for support and a bit of relationship advice. However, if things are really getting to you, don’t hesitate to work with mental health professionals who can help you navigate your feelings. They will give you strategies to move on with your life in a positive way.