After a devastating relationship breakup, I threw myself into the dating scene by registering on Hily. I had over 100 dates - some absolute disasters, some pretty average, and some that were actually great. So many stories to tell and insights to share with you guys!
Powerful Signs of Male Attraction—A Checklist for You
So, you have found a man you are deeply interested in. And you’re feeling romantic and physical attraction. But is he romantically interested? Does he feel sexual attraction toward you? Does he even see you as an attractive person? These signs of male attraction can give you the answers.
When everything’s unclear, it’s important to have clear criteria whether you are being “breadcrumbed” or not. In this case, you can rely on some undeniable signs a man is “into” you, meaning the signs of male attraction.
Smiling at You Lots
If you are looking for subtle signs, this isn’t one of them. Actually, it’s quite a good sign. It means that he finds you attractive. And if he smiles at you more than other people, it’s a pretty good sign that you are more important than those others around you.
You might be at a bar with several people, for example. You notice that as all of you talk, he smiles more at you. This means he has a greater interest in you. Smile back to let him know that his interest is returned.
Don't lean in. Pull her into you pic.twitter.com/XC5dORozdy
— Rivelino (@alpharivelino) August 1, 2021
Leaning Into You
This is one of those physical signs that shouldn’t be ignored. It’s a type of open body language that indicates a deeper level of interest than just normal friendship and conversation would be. You should take this as a powerful indicator of his attraction to you.
“Stealing” Glances at You
In social settings, you may have been introduced to this man, or you may already know him. Either way, you are definitely attracted and want it to be mutual.
If you find him stealing glances at you, this is one of the most powerful signs of male attraction. It means you are on his mind while he is mingling and even talking with other girls. If you catch this behavior, be sure to smile at him so he knows you feel the same way. That just might get a rise in his body temperature.
Consistently Staying in Touch
Men who breadcrumb you are not ready for a relationship with you. Don’t take it personally. They may just want more space, or their personal life is not in a good place. And they are probably finding excuses for why they can’t keep in touch.
But we always find time to do the things we really want to do. If the guy you are dating makes a point of keeping in touch consistently in between your dates, it is one of the most common signs that you are the person he wants to be with. Those signs may be in the form of texts, calls, or tagging you in funny memes or posts. Respond in kind.
Engaging in Mirroring Behavior
Just what is mirroring behavior? Put simply, it refers to your date copying your nonverbal behavior. You smile, and he smiles back; you wink, and he winks back; you give certain facial expressions, and he mimics them back; you touch his arm; he touches yours. These little details are a good indicator that he is definitely into you. So, watch for these.
Into Deeper Conversations with You
A guy who wants to share his goals, his values, his opinions, and who also wants to know yours, is clearly into you. With someone he does not find attractive, he will keep the conversation very light and superficial.
So, take any serious and deep conversations as a great indicator of his attraction. And as you share your goals, values, and opinions, watch for his nonverbal responses. Is he maintaining eye contact with you as you talk? Is he using the right words to validate what he is hearing from you? There are many signs of attraction, but this one is key.
Taking You Around His People
One of the most powerful signs of male attraction is their desire to take you to meet “their people.” This will be friends and family too. They will want you to join when they get together and take you to family events.
The guests are probably including only you on these occasions, so take it as a great sign that you are the person he wants to “show off.” Respect this openness and find some joy in doing the same in response.
Seeming Nervous Around You
This is pretty normal behavior for a man who may be a bit insecure and is not sure of how you are feeling about him. He may have clammy hands; he may search for the right words and stumble a bit; and he may even run a little short on the eye contact, a result of being shy. And he may avoid physical contact at first.
All of these things are normal signs of male nervousness, so don’t count him out. Instead, do your best to put him at ease, and certainly don’t push things forward until you get some signs that he is more relaxed – eye contact, returning your smiles, easing up into natural and relaxed conversation. If you are really attracted to this man, it will be well worth it.
Being Anxious to Impress You
This is one of the undeniable and possibly powerful signs that a man is attracted to you. Also, that’s a great start as this guy will try his best to become a better boyfriend for you in the future. But there are some conditions here.
Beware of a narcissist. He will come on strong with all of the powerful signs of male attraction, sweep you off your feet, and you will feel like the luckiest person alive. Gradually, things will begin to change, though. It becomes all about him.
He’ll spend all of your time together only talking about himself and his accomplishments; he won’t ask about your interests, your opinions or thoughts, or your needs. Over a pretty short period of time, you are feeling less attracted to him, and for good reason.
“He [a narcissist] is cunning and will come on strong, sweep you off your feet. He seems to have the same values, interests, goals, tastes, and habits. He admires your intellect, ambition, honesty, and sincerity … he fakes integrity … and seems generous in the initial phase. Eventually, Jekyll turns into Hyde and his discarded victims suffer … you may be discarded quickly as he attaches to a ‘new perfect soul mate.'”
Dr. Irene Matiatos, clinical psychologist and founder of “Dr. Irene’s Verbal Abuse Site”
In short, watch for healthy signs that he uses to impress you – but avoid red flags. He’ll share about his achievements and talents, but he should not dominate conversations – but ask you about yours too. And his “boasts” should be peppered with some humility.
He may, for example, give credit to others who have helped him realize his goals – parents, a teacher/professor, or a mentor.
Planning Alone Time with You
It’s one thing to show attraction toward you when you are in group settings. It’s nice to have that attention – but if he is really into you, he will make plans to be with just you, like to share activities that you both enjoy or just talking. He will want to spend time with just you to get to know you better and vice versa.
This is one of the most powerful signs of male attraction you can experience. That alone time is precious. You get to have deep conversations about who you are, not just the “fluff” talk that happens when you are with a group of people in social settings. When he wants to spend time with you alone, he has a genuine interest, he is truly attracted, and you probably have a winner.
Looking for Physical Contact
Non-verbal language gives you good clues. Does he make a point of touching you often and walking beside you, not in front or back? Does he touch your arm, your shoulder, and hold you close when you dance?
As the saying goes, body language signs volumes, and you need to listen to those songs. If the melodies are all singing to you, it’s a powerful sign.
Beginning to Exhibit Protective Behavior
Now here’s a genuine sign of attraction. You have met up for a date. At the end of the night, when you are separating, he asks you to call or text him and let him know that you have gotten home safely. He will call or text to see how you are doing, even for no reason whatsoever. Maybe he hasn’t heard from you today. He wants to be assured that you are okay and will still respond to his reaching out to you.
Take these protective behaviors for what they are – sure signs that he is more than attracted to you. He wants a real relationship and takes time out of his busy schedule to check in with you. This kind of paying attention to you is a clear sign of attraction, and probably more than just that.
Becoming a More Careful Groomer
This is body language too. When a man is truly attracted to someone, he will try to look his best when in their presence. So, if the man you are dating gets a new hairstyle, upgrades his wardrobe, even starts working out in some way, take this as a sure sign he is attracted to you.
A person doesn’t go to these lengths if he is not attracted to you. If you notice these kinds of changes and you want a relationship with this man, you can do the same. You want to look like someone guys find attractive, don’t you?
His Voice May Change
Yes, it’s true. There are actual studies that show a man’s voice tone gets lower when he is attracted to someone. While this is probably one of those subconscious signs of attraction, it does happen.
“For men, it is important to sound masculine, which is manifested in a deeper voice pitch.”
Juan David Leongomez, researcher
So, if you are out in a social setting and you hear a man’s voice lower in range when he speaks to you, take it as a pretty good sign that he is attracted to you. If you are interested too, then this could be a ‘go’.
His Pupils Dilate
Now of all the body language signs, this may be one of the weirdest. But again, research says so.
When a man is interested in someone, certain “love hormones” kick in, specifically oxytocin and dopamine. These brain chemicals actually do cause dilated pupils, and the body really can’t control this body language.
The trick, of course, is to try to determine if that body part is reacting to you or to the fact that, in a darkened room, pupils automatically dilate. So, don’t go overboard and assume a guy likes you just because of those pupils. Sometimes this even happens if someone is unusually nervous or a bit frightened.
Sharing His Hobbies and Activities with You
Now you may not have similar interests in hobbies and activities at all. But if he feels attracted to you, he will want to introduce you to him so that you might become interested in one or more too.
This is definitely a good sign. It says that he is looking toward a future with you. At the same time, this guy will probably want you to share some hobbies too and will be happy to participate in some of your activities. You don’t have the same hobbies, but you may just find some that you are both attracted to.
Some Final Thoughts on Male Attraction
Unless he comes right out and says so, it is sometimes difficult to know whether a guy is truly attracted to you or is just looking for a casual fling. Some of the behaviors are the same, such as smiling, making efforts to talk to you a lot, singling you out with glances, using physical touch, and such. These may indicate he is attracted to you, at least in some way. But there are some behaviors that powerfully indicate he is genuinely interested.
If attracted, men love to share you with their friends and family. They want to have deeper conversations, become more protective, stay consistently in touch, and want to share personal details and things, such as their goals and beliefs. You will notice that all parts of their lives are opened up to you. These signs of attraction are serious.
If you notice these more serious signs of attraction, you have obvious signs that he is attracted to you as more than a casual date. If your own feelings are the same, go for it.