Survey: Mental Health, Therapy and Dating

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and indeed, everyone around seems aware. From licensed therapists to armchair experts, it feels like mental health is the topic on everyone’s lips. Some argue we’re all too “weak” these days, while others believe mental health is the key to understanding (and navigating) the messiness of modern life.

Regardless, mental health awareness is undeniably influencing how we connect with others, especially in our dating lives. Mental Health America and organizations like it have been working hard to raise awareness around mental health challenges and ensure more people seek help. But is it true that you need to address all your mental health conditions before dating? Is talking about mental health honesty or floodlighting? Can therapy or a lack thereof be a dealbreaker?

To get to the bottom of this, Hily conducted a survey to explore how mental health and therapy are influencing modern dating. We surveyed 2,500 Millennial and Gen Z Americans. Ready to find out what we discovered? Let’s dig in!

Therapy and Dating: A Love Story?

Is Therapy a Turn-On or Turn-Off?

When it comes to dating, therapy seems to be one of those topics that can either spark a “wow, that’s impressive” or a “hmm, I’m not so sure” reaction. Some people see it as a sign of emotional maturity, while others might raise an eyebrow. And the biggest question that must be on the minds of young daters: is therapy a must-have?

The survey results suggest it’s not. Among women, 26% of Gen Z and 34% of Millennials said it was important that their potential partner was or had been in therapy. Men were even more laidback about it, with 15% of Gen Z men and 25% of Millennial men saying their partner being in therapy mattered to them.

However, as mental health awareness continues to grow, there’s less stigma around seeking professional help. According to the survey, 87% of young American women and 85% of men feel comfortable dating someone who has been in therapy. Even if professional care for your mental health is not a must, it’s definitely not a dealbreaker, either.

Does Caring for Your Mental Health Make You More Attractive?

The idea of finding a partner who is emotionally intelligent and proactive about their mental health resonates with many. Among women, 45% of Gen Z and 55% of Millennial women found partners who attend therapy more attractive. Among men, the numbers are 32% for Gen Z and 43% for Millennials.

Moreover, over half of women and almost half of men are likely to date someone who has been in therapy. Millennial women more frequently hold this position, with 54% saying they were likely to date someone who is or was in therapy. Among Gen Z women, 47% said the same. For Millennial men, in line with the overall trend of Millennials caring more about mental health, the percentage was 49%, compared to 41% for Gen Z men.

It seems taking care of one’s mental health conditions and well-being is generally an attractive trait.

Is Staying Away from Therapy Lowering Your Chances?

On the flip side, avoiding therapy may be a turn-off for some. Women in particular are less likely than men to date someone who has never been in therapy. Among women, 21% of Gen Zers and 24% of Millennials said they were unlikely to date someone who fits that description. In comparison, only 13% of Gen Z men and 18% of Millennial men could say the same.

In fact, 55% of young American women and 70% of men wouldn’t consider dating someone who doesn’t believe in therapy at all. Among women, that was the most common sentiment. When asked if they were likely to date someone who doesn’t believe in therapy, 38% of Gen Z women and 39% of Millennial women said that was ‘completely untrue’.

Men were more indifferent, with 42% of Gen Z men and 40% of Millennial men saying it was “neither true nor untrue.” Still, 19% of Gen Z men and 23% of Millennial men were completely unwilling to date someone who doesn’t believe in therapy.

With mental health conditions, including mental illness and stress, affecting so many, the importance of mental health care in relationships can’t be overstated.

But Can Therapy Be a Dealbreaker?

Interestingly, while therapy can be an attractive quality in a partner, it can also lead to challenges in dating and relationships. In fact, 27% of young American women and 20% of men, have felt their dates were judging them for being in therapy. It appears the stigma around mental health is still there and can affect young daters.

There’s a variety of reasons why people might hesitate to date someone in therapy. Among the daters we surveyed, 32% of men and 28% of women pointed at cost as a potential reason not to want their partner to be in therapy. Additionally, 23% of women and 22% of men were concerned about a potential breakup, and 20% of women and 21% of men felt uncomfortable with the idea of their partner sharing personal details about them with their therapist. These worries can make dating someone who’s working on their mental health seem a bit tricky, even if it could be really good for both their well-being and the relationship.

Mental Health Talk: Too Personal or Just Right?

In the age of social media posts and digital transparency, is it necessary to share your therapy history with a potential partner? Is it honesty or is it oversharing? Let’s have a look.

Does Your Date Need to Know You’re in Therapy?

It seems the majority of young daters want to be transparent about mental health. Among women, 64% said it was important to tell a potential partner they were or had been in therapy. For men, the numbers were 51% for Gen Z and 52% for Millennials.

And share they do, especially women. Millennials seemed to be the most willing to talk about it, with 49% of Millennial women saying they have told their matches or dates they were in therapy, compared to 39% of Gen Z women. Among men, 39% of Millennials and only 26% of Gen Z men could say the same.

In fact, 1 in 3 young Americans wish dating profiles showed whether someone is/was in therapy. As many as 38% of Millennial women and 33% of Gen Z women said dating profiles should include an option to share that info. Among men, 27% of Gen Zers and 29% of Millennials agreed. It seems openness and honest connection is trending up. A great time to date as you are!

Even though a lot of daters are wary of oversharing and floodlighting, about 1 in 3 people we surveyed have had dates tell them they were in therapy. Matches of 33% of Millennial women and 29% of Gen Z women have shared their in-therapy status. Among men, 39% of Millennials and 33% of Gen Zers have had that experience.

Do You Want To Talk About It?

Even if talking about mental health in detail might feel like oversharing, the survey shows daters don’t necessarily view it like that. A significant 73% of Gen Z women and 77% of Millennial women feel comfortable discussing mental health with their dating app matches. Among men, 67% of Gen Zers and 72% of Millennials could say the same. It seems in the 76 years that it’s been observed in the US, Mental Health Month has made a difference.

Additionally, many young Americans have actually discussed mental health with a match. Millennial women have done it most commonly, with 50% saying they’ve discussed their mental health with a date, compared to 43% of Gen Z women. Among men, 43% of Millennials and only 31% of Gen Zers have done the same. Although these conversations have been increasingly normalized, and people seem to be generally supportive of each other’s mental health journeys, younger generations of daters may hold back out of fear of being seen as a toxic oversharer.

Still, even if not many want to be a free therapist, quite a few are willing to help their date find an actual professional to help with their mental health. A whopping 74% of Gen Z men and 71% of Millennial men say they’re open to helping their potential partner find a therapist. Among women, 73% of Gen Zers and 64% of Millennials could say the same.

Is Therapy and Mental Health Awareness Changing Dating?

The “I’m not ready for a relationship” charade may be memed about a lot. But as mental health awareness continues to evolve, it’s clear that therapy is having a significant impact on how people approach relationships. More people are prioritizing their mental health before dating. In fact, 56% of Millennial and 42% of Gen Z women always consider their mental health before entering a new relationship. The same is true for 44% of Millennial and 36% of gen Z men.

It seems that therapy is not only changing individual lives but also influencing the way people think about relationships. That’s especially true for women. In fact, 54% of Gen Z women and 65% of Millennial women who have been in therapy say it changed how they view dates or matches. As for men, 43% of Millennials and 38% of Gen Zers said therapy has changed their dating life in that way.

Many young Americans, especially women, feel that it’s easier to build a healthy relationship with someone who is/was in therapy. As many as 54% of Millennial women and 51% of Gen Z women agree with that. Among men, 42% of Millennials and 38% of Gen Zers say the same.

However, therapy can sometimes lead to difficult decisions. Some daters have ended romantic relationships as a result of therapy. Notably, women have done so about twice as often as men, with 32% of both Gen Z and Millennial women reporting having broken up after therapy. Only 14% of Gen Z men and 17% of Millennial men have done the same.

Conclusion

Mental Health Awareness Month shines a spotlight on the growing role of therapy in relationships. Whether it’s making someone more attractive, fostering openness, or changing how we connect, therapy is becoming a key part of modern dating. Many are open to dating someone who has been in therapy, with Millennials leading the way in seeing it as a positive trait. Women tend to view therapy as important more often than men do.

As we continue to raise awareness and reduce stigma, seeking therapy is no longer just about self-care—it’s a move toward building healthier, more supportive relationships.