Survey: Is Your AI Use a Dating Dealbreaker?

AI is everywhere now. It’s in work tools, search results, group chats, and even some people’s daily routines and decision-making processes. But when it comes to relationships, a growing number of American daters are drawing a clear line between useful technology and something that feels a little too hands-off.

Hily surveyed 3,500 Gen Z and Millennial American daters to find out how the use of AI affects romantic interest. From processing emotions and asking intimate questions to writing wedding vows, the results show that how someone uses AI is quickly becoming part of how they’re evaluated as a potential partner.

Here are some key findings from our survey:

• 64% of Gen Z and 56% of Millennial daters wouldn’t date someone who relies on AI for everyday decisions.
• 75% of Gen Z and 68% of Millennial daters would be immediately turned off if a date used AI to decide whether to go on a second date with them.
• 60% of Gen Z and 54% of Millennial daters would find someone extremely attractive if they admitted they never use AI for personal decisions.
• 65% of Gen Z daters say they couldn’t say “I do” if a partner used AI to write their wedding vows.

A New Kind of Compatibility Problem

For 64% of Gen Z and 56% of Millennial daters, dating someone who relies on AI for everyday decisions is off the table. It’s the majority view across both generations, and Gen Z, despite growing up alongside this technology, feels more strongly about it than Millennials do.

Among those who wouldn’t date an AI-reliant partner, the specific situations that bother them most reveal where the real discomfort lies.

Using AI to analyze a relationship conflict tops the list for both generations of daters—75% of Gen Z and 70% of Millennials cite it as a dealbreaker. Using AI to process emotions like a therapist closely follows, bothering 69% of Gen Z and 60% of Millennials. Seeking career advice from AI rounds out the top three, at 56% of Gen Z and 46% of Millennials. The topics vary, but the pattern is consistent: the more personal the decision, the more AI involvement bothers people.

Finances, Health and Feelings

Getting financial advice from a chatbot once is one thing. Making a habit of it is another—55% of Gen Z and 44% of Millennial daters say they wouldn’t date someone who consults AI before making a spending decision. How someone manages money is already a common compatibility consideration—apparently, so is where they turn for guidance.

Health decisions are on par with financial decisions when it comes to using AI. Nearly 2 in 3 Gen Z and more than half of Millennial daters say they wouldn’t date someone who uses AI to diagnose symptoms instead of seeing a doctor. Replacing professional medical advice with a chatbot is, for many daters, a concern that extends beyond health—it says something about judgment too.

Emotional self-awareness is where the numbers are highest. Nearly 7 in 10 Gen Z and 6 in 10 Millennial daters say they wouldn’t date someone who relies on AI to understand their own feelings. A partner who can’t make sense of their own feelings without AI is, for most daters, a compatibility concern.

When It Gets Personal

62% of Gen Z and 53% of Millennial daters say they wouldn’t date someone who turns to AI with questions about their sex life. Consulting a friend or a professional is one thing … running it past a chatbot feels like something entirely different.

The discomfort extends beyond individual questions—66% of Gen Z and 54% of Millennial daters say they wouldn’t be comfortable with a partner discussing their shared sex life with AI. Intimacy and privacy are typically woven together. AI complicates both.

The Second Date Algorithm

The idea of being evaluated by an algorithm (rather than by the person sitting across the table) puts most people off. In fact, 75% of Gen Z and 68% of Millennial daters say it would be an immediate turnoff to find out a date had used AI to decide whether to see them again. It’s not just about AI use in general. It’s about being on the receiving end of its judgment.

Authenticity as Attraction

The inverse is also true—60% of Gen Z and 54% of Millennial daters say they’d find someone extremely attractive if they admitted to never using AI for personal decisions. In a world where AI use is common and growing, independent thought is the unexpected romantic trait of the year.

The Vows Are The Final Straw

If there’s a moment where AI involvement feels most out of place, this highly romantic moment might be it. For 65% of Gen Z and half of Millennial daters, using AI to write wedding vows is a bridge too far: these daters couldn’t say “I do” to AI vows. Exchanging vows is up there on the list of major life moments, and for most daters, the altar is not an AI use case.

Humans Want to Date Humans

AI is becoming a bigger part of daily life, and most daters aren’t objecting to that in general. What they’re objecting to is something more specific: a partner who lets AI stand in for their own judgment, emotional processing or genuine expression.

The throughline across every data point is authenticity. Daters aren’t just evaluating how someone treats them—they’re evaluating how someone relates to themselves. And for a clear majority, leaning on AI for the personal stuff is a bit of a dealbreaker.

A chatbot can do a lot of things, but it can’t replace a relationship that lasts.

The methodology

Hily’s research team surveyed 3,500 Gen Z and Millennial daters in the United States to explore how AI use affects modern dating and romantic compatibility. The study examined attitudes toward AI involvement in personal decision-making, emotional processing and relationship milestones across both generations.

About Hily

Hily (pronounced like ‘highly’) is a dating app designed to connect singles with new people while supporting them in remaining authentic. Short for “Hey, I Like You,” it invites users to have fun and not look for a perfect match.

By encouraging everyone to date as they are, Hily is breaking one of the biggest curses of online dating—feeling pressured to hide your true self. Praising self-exploration, self-acceptance, open-mindedness, and inclusivity, the app helps people put real connections first and keep competition at bay by unlocking their unique, fabulous selves. With features like icebreakers, compatibility checks, messaging, Major Crush, and zodiac synastry, Hily helps users express who they really are and connect in genuine ways.

Launched in 2017, Hily has become one of the top 10 dating apps in US app stores, with over 42 million users worldwide.