Is Finding Love Enough for Happiness?

Mar 7, 2024, USA – Hily case study investigating the potential of love and relationships to make modern daters feel happier and more fulfilled

Life is hard and suffering, but with love it will become funnier and happier. This statement may or may not be true in real life – but that’s the belief romcoms and romantic novels have been promoting for centuries. 

The Hily dating app decided not to take this notion for granted. We surveyed 2,000 Hily users to identify whether their internal motivation to find a date is driven by the pursuit of happiness.

All You Need Is Love… Or Not?

The short answer to the key question, “Is love linked with happiness?” is “Absolutely!”. Based on survey results, almost 90% agree that finding love will significantly increase their happiness.

When asked a more personal question, “How important is being in a relationship to your overall happiness?”, the results clarified that within this 90%, around 30% think it’s “extremely important,” around 35% assume it’s “somewhat important,” and 25% are neutral about the subject. 

All in all, the number of disbelievers in the ‘All You Need Is Love’ church is less than 10%. But don’t judge by numbers: you can easily meet them among your potential dates on an online dating app. Be careful with your expectations!

Interesting fact: Females tend to have stronger beliefs about relationships and happiness on extremes – both positive and negative ones. The number of female respondents who don’t link their happiness with finding love is slightly higher: 8.5% men vs. 13% women. Besides, the number of women for whom relationships are extremely important for their happiness is also higher: 29% men vs. 32% women. 

Mars and Venus: Relationship Happiness Expectations

Regarding the most common benefits of relationships, the survey showed no surprises with common beliefs on Mars and Venus differences. Men showed their traditional interest in physical intimacy (27%), while women valued emotional support above all the other relationship aspects (48%). Shared experiences get the lower priority for both genders (20% only).

Is there any shared perception for men and women? Yes, it is. Companionship is the biggest benefit of being in a relationship for over 60% of respondents. Emotional support and growth and learning go right after in the overall list of relationship benefits for both genders. 

Interesting fact: Women like relationships for personal growth even more than for physical intimacy (18% vs. 12%), while men tend to value personal growth much less than any other relationship benefits (17% vs. 27%). In general, the percentage is almost the same for both genders – but that’s because nothing seems to be more valuable than emotional support for women.

Are You Looking for Love or Your ‘Better Half’?

In addition to being the common source of happiness, finding a relationship is also a common strategy to feel complete. Over 60% of respondents believe they are good on their own but admit the relationship is important to complete their lives. 

Not too important, though. Love plays a determining role in the feeling of completeness for 14% of Hily respondents only, with less than 5% admitting that a relationship won’t fill the gap they fill on their own. People don’t have high hopes for finding their “better half” – but feel that a romantic relationship will make their existence more meaningful. 

Where do people search for happiness if not love? Both women (68%) and men (55%) value their mental well-being above all the other aspects, including love and relationships. We don’t want “better halves” – we want to feel better about ourselves and have relationships standing our ground. 

Interesting fact: Regarding vulnerabilities, females tend to be more dependent on their closer circle (family and friends got almost the same percentage as love and relationships – 58%), while males care about their physical well-being on the same level as love (47% and 48% respectively).

Social Pressure and Love-Related Expectations

Being in search of inner happiness out of the relationship is still not easy. Almost 60% of respondents strongly agree that social media creates false expectations for happiness in relationships and somehow feel that social pressure to find a partner affects their happiness. We all see it; we all feel it.

Both genders seek validation in the world of stress and non-acceptance, and relationships are oases of happiness in this harsh reality for over 63% of respondents. In this group, females feel more vulnerable – 22% need a lot of validation from their partners, while only 15% of male respondents feel this way.

Interesting fact: Strongly reject any validation around 7% of respondents on a dating app, so be careful with your “Yes, I feel for you” responses in chat.  

Build Your Happy Love on Your Terms

Beliefs on happiness and love are different, but some things are certain: relationships are important for happiness, emotional support is more important for women than men, and both genders struggle to maintain their mental well-being in the circumstances of intense social pressure and non-stop “perfect images of love” production.

We do want love and relationships to be happy. But we want to find our way. So let us do it – at our pace and based on our needs.