Sep 09, 2021
When is the right time to start dating after a breakup?

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Oh, the age-old question, how long after a long-term relationship should you wait to date. Yes, a breakup with someone is a tough thing to get over. No, it will not be easy to mend a broken heart after your relationship is over.

Getting back into the dating pool takes time. It is understandable that meeting new people shortly after the breakup is not easy. Take time to heal in order to find someone else.

Mistakes Happen

You are the author of your own story. There is no shame in rewriting it several times before you are ready to date again. A breakup is a lesson; it helps you understand better what to work on.

Take baby steps when recovering after a breakup. Entering a relationship may be scary at times, don't push yourself if you feel insecure. Think about it, you have been focused on someone else for so long that being alone for some time may not be such a bad thing after all.

Love Yourself

There are a few ways to speed up the process of recovery after a breakup. Do things that bring you joy or try something new: read a book by your favorite author or sign up for dancing lessons. Turn for help if you need it - schedule a session with a therapist to talk about what is on your mind.

Rebuilding self-esteem may take time, but experts say it is one of the first steps on the way to a healthy relationship.

How much time does it take to get over a failed relationship?

Before diving back into the dating pool, make sure you have the energy to maintain a new relationship.

Breakup, according to relationship experts, is usually a traumatic experience. Not everyone is ready to date right away or build long-term relationships. Most people who are getting over an ex will hide their feelings, some may talk about it with friends, others will look for more information on the recovery process online.

Some people will need quite a bit of time before seeking a new partner or a relationship. A breakup may feel like a loss, it all may even cause physical pain! Yes, breakups can be quite harmful.

There really is no formula for getting over a relationship fast and forgetting your ex even faster. However, there are a few kinds of things one can follow when starting a relationship. 

Tips: Check the tips below to see if you are ready to start dating. If most answers are a "no", it is a red flag to try something else instead of a relationship.

You took time to heal and don't feel pain anymore

In a post-pandemic world, we know the importance of physical and mental wellbeing. Some people know first-hand how important it is to be open about their feelings and thoughts in a relationship. Breakups can really harm a person's body, soul, mind. Relationships are hard work, so not healing properly after a  breakup is simply unfair to your future partner.

If the goal is to match with someone on a more serious level, make sure some time had passed since the breakup before dating. A person is ready to date again only after the pain goes away completely.

Tip: Do not carry past baggage into a new relationship. Avoid talking about your ex, never compare them to your new partner.

You are not stalking your ex on social media

In the world of social media, it is easy to get lost and think everyone else is living the perfect life. In order to speed up the healing process, unfollow your ex's page or even block it to stop seeing their timeline.

Get rid of the immediate reminders of the past. Of course, you can become fantastic friends later, but remember there is a reason why they are your ex now

Tip: No need to delete all the photos, just unfollow or mute your ex until you are ready to see their timeline updates again.

You have a stable self-esteem

Easier said than done, but it is achievable. Experts say that confident partners are much happier in relationships and handle a breakup much better. There are more ways to improve self-esteem post-breakup. Among them are webinars, therapists, new hobbies, hairstyles, workouts, clothing, and more. 

The point is to focus on your needs and desires before going out and meeting a new person, let alone starting a relationship with them. Also, set your boundaries right away to avoid past mistakes.

Tip: treat yourself to something you like on a regular basis, daily affirmations of self-love may be helpful

You are open to meeting new people

Once you are sure that you are ready to date - keep your expectations realistic. Signing up for dating apps may be a good idea, but no need to wear your heart on the sleeve by going overboard and downloading all the dating apps or visit speed dating groups twice a week.

Before getting into a new relationship, date a couple of people. Making yourself available can ease the recovery after the breakup.

Tip: Dating apps like Hily may be able to help start a relationship after a breakup

You have a great therapist or dating coach

Breakup is very similar to a loss. It is not easy to fill the void after a relationship ends. After all, the two of you were really close. So, dating after a breakup may require extra help from a qualified professional. There is absolutely no shame in going to therapy or hiring a dating coach. To be honest, a breakup can impact a person's life in so many ways that seeking help may not be such a bad idea.

Tip: Only get help from qualified therapists and dating coaches. Do your research online, find out what experience they have.

You are ready for a relationship

A sure sign of being ready to date is flirting with someone who sparks your interest. You know that it's not another rebound pal, it may be more.  When you start dating and one person takes center stage, it is a sure sign that you are over your ex and have moved on.

Tip: do not rush into a new relationship, wait to get to know your new partner, find out more about their likes and dislikes.

You ask questions without looking for a reason to push your new partner away

Sometimes it is hard to believe a relationship is over. Sometimes it is hard to accept a breakup. However, dating after a breakup should not mean questioning everyone's motives. You are ready to date if you stop looking for reasons to push your new partner away when you just start dating. You do not question why the person is interested in you but see beyond the hustle and bustle.

Tip: Dating life does not revolve around one person, and before finding the right partner - find some things that inspire and drive you.

New Beginning

Dating world is full of exciting people once you are ready to date. Seeing someone new should never cause anxiety; it should be one of the more exciting things in your life after going through a breakup.

Dating after a breakup does not have to be a traumatic experience. People make mistakes in life, it is a thing that makes us human. Regardless of how hard it may seem to begin a new relationship if you are reading this - it means you're on the way to a new beginning.

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