Apr 22, 2021
5 Dating Rules We Should Stop Following Once And For All

It’s about time we rethink our dating strategies

Dating in 2021 is nothing like dating in 2001. And while everyone knows that, we still follow some dating principles that our parents or even grandparents came up with. So here are 5 dating rules that just don’t make sense anymore.

Photo by Alan Quirvan on Unsplash

Only dating your type

Knowing exactly what you want can be really helpful. Especially when it comes to negotiating salaries and explaining your vision to the hairdresser. But dating a certain type of people and not giving anyone else the time of day is not a great idea. If you want to wake next to a person who genuinely cares about you and wants to make you happy every day, does it really matter whether they are 6.5 or not? In every relationship, the thing we value most is how they make us feel. And if you never get out of your comfort zone and try something new, how can you be sure they’re not your type?

Waiting for men to make the first move

Of course, it’s great to see that someone cares about you and goes out of their way to let you know how they feel about you. Both women and men would agree on that. And yet, many girls still live by the principle that approaching a man first is desperate or simply unacceptable. Try putting yourself in the shows and think about it — if someone expresses their interest in you, how do you feel? Flattered? For sure. Excited? Definitely. Besides, by only dating someone who reaches out to your first, you’re narrowing your dating pool and might be missing out on someone great.

Never talking about exes

Almost every dating rulebook forbids talking about exes on a first, second, or even third date. Because isn’t it better to just pretend that the past doesn’t exist and there’s no one in the world but us? Of course, it isn’t. While you shouldn’t start your first date by discussing your ex’s flaws (or virtues, for that matter), your previous relationships are a big part of you. That’s why there’s nothing wrong in mentioning your exes or even talking about what went wrong in the past. It’s also a good way to find out any hidden red flags that you might not have noticed otherwise.

Looking for a perfect soulmate

Sorry to break it to you, but nobody’s perfect. And since nobody’s perfect, there is no way that two imperfect people will magically fit together like two puzzle pieces. But that doesn’t mean you should give up and forget about romance. Instead, it actually opens up a world of new exciting possibilities. Our flaws make us more human, bring us closer to each other, and help us create some fun memories. So as long as it’s not a deal-breaker, don’t stress and go with the flow. And don’t expect one person to fulfill all your emotional needs. Your best friend, your children’s parent, and your spouse doesn’t have to be your muse, business partner, and personal therapist as well.

Playing hard to get

Playing hard to get is one of those things that no one really likes to do, but we do it anyway. We leave people on read, postpone dates, and act like we don’t care to prove that we’re not interested at all. The problem is, if you are actually interested, you are hiding your feelings that could lead to a genuine, games-free connection. If you are not interested and just do it for fun, well, don’t do it. Leading someone on is selfish and disrespectful, and no one deserves to be treated this way. And if you find yourself on the receiving end, don’t doubt yourself. You are worthy of love, respect, and a person who will appreciate you just the way you are without any tricks.


5 Dating Rules We Should Stop Following Once And For All was originally published in Hily on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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