How does your guy express himself? Some men are talkers; others use their hands. Also, there are the fellas who can say so much with body language. It’s as if everything he is thinking and feeling is shown through his gestures, posture, and even how he positions himself in relationship to the rest of the world.
When a guy really uses body language, you may think you always know how he feels. But is that true? What about guys who seemingly don’t reveal very much about themselves in terms of body language? How can you be sure of what your man tells you?
People really do communicate with their bodies. However, that’s only useful if you know how to interpret this form of nonverbal communication. That takes some knowledge and practice, but it’s worth learning. Check out our tips on how to read body language and figure out his emotions, even if he won’t tell you.
Yes, you can learn to interpret body language through his physical signs. You simply have to educate yourself. Also, it helps to understand some of the myths and misperceptions about body language, including:
If a person is interested, there will be eye contact; if uninterested or untrustworthy, then not. Everybody “knows” these things, yet they are largely untrue. Here’s the lowdown on that.
“It is likely that eye contact avoidance in autism might be a way of avoiding feelings of overarousal rather than a reflection of disinterest and lack of motivation.”
Andréen et al. (2021). Developing tolerance to eye contact in autism
First, remember that everything you have been taught about eye contact assumes that all people are neurotypical. That sweet, funny guy who can’t look you in the eye may not be uninterested. He could be on the spectrum or just nervous.
Also, many of us are taught to look people in the eye as we are sitting and talking. Otherwise, we are perceived as being dishonest. So, if you and he lock eyes, that could be more about how he was socialized than how he feels.
Don’t become so intently focused on facial expressions and body language that a single gesture becomes a big deal. This is all about being observant and seeing what these subtle cues tell you over the course of a date or other interactions, including his appearance during video chats if you are online.
Unfortunately, people tend to allow their current point of view to cause them to see one or two gestures being more important than they really are. For example, if you have really strong feelings for a man, you may see romance in a single gesture. Conversely, if you feel negative about things, one single element of body language may seem like an instant rejection. In fact, he may just be anxious.
As people learn about body language, they may become curious about how they can use these cues to take advantage of people and situations. However, much of this form of communication is a subconscious thing. You can’t fake it. Also, non-verbal cues such as pupil size are entirely out of your control.
Do you know how to screw up a great moment with a guy who is showing interest in you? Instead of talking and flirting with him, spend the date analyzing all of his movements and expressions. If he was attracted to you, that won’t last long. He’ll feel uncomfortable, and find the first reason he can to get out of the weird situation you’ve created.
Body language isn’t meant to be separated from other forms of expression. There are so many things that may impact the way a person stands, holds their arms, or focuses their eyes. Not all of these things have anything to do with how that person feels. More to the point, not every gesture signals how that person feels about you.
For example, someone who crosses their arms during a conversation may be defensive or closed off. However, before you decide they have no desire for you, consider that they might just be cold.
“I help people influence and persuade others around how trustworthy and credible their message is by helping them with their specific nonverbal communication.”
Mark Bowden, a body language consultant
Let’s be clear. There are communications experts who truly understand what body language means, and are excellent at teaching people how to pay close attention to certain cues. Unfortunately, there are also people with no proven skills claiming to be experts, or who use methods that have been shown to be based on fiction, not science.
For example, many experts rely on forensic body language training. The problem is that this has largely been exposed as pseudoscience. Also, many experts benefit from being sensationalistic. Rather than teaching women to interpret some signs communicated through body language, they promise to show All of The Signs He is Cheating on You!
Be wary of any expert who says they can teach you how to catch a cheater or a liar. This isn’t a substitute for written or spoken language. It is a very interesting method of learning to get an idea of the other person’s emotions.
Learning how to interpret others’ body language is a very important form of communication. Of course, there are generally exceptions to the rules, but in most cases, people frequently use similar forms of body language signs to communicate their feelings. So, watch for his posture, facial expressions, arms and hands, legs, eyes and eyebrows, and check if he’s copying you.
Related reading: Powerful Signs of Male Attraction – A Checklist for You
You can tell a lot about a person by the way they carry themselves around. Those who look confident with their head held high and their shoulders back are most likely to be strong leaders, while those who appear to be closed in on themselves are slumped over. The latter may appear to be anxious, or unsure of what to do with themselves. And they tend not to be comfortable around larger groups. Their behavior may include moving off to a quiet space.
By paying attention to the way he is carrying himself around you, you may get an idea of exactly how he may feel about you. If he feels an attraction, he’ll straighten a bit, especially if it’s just the two of you who sit together alone.
Take a look at his face and ask yourself, does his body language match his facial language. Many guys tend to try and hide their discomfort or anxiety by trying to make their faces show stronger emotions to hide those facts.
He may be trying to act incredibly happy while his body language suggests that he is suffering from a lot of anxiety. Or he may be trying to play it off as if he’s angry when he’s simply embarrassed. Pay attention to both his facial expressions and body language and use contextual clues to get an idea of what he is thinking.
Are they limp at his sides? Are they constantly engaged or held up? Maybe they’re crossed? Of course, what you do with your arms could mean many different things. For example, crossing your arms could be a sign of relaxation or it could be a sign of being “closed,” not feeling an attraction, or even an attempt to intimidate others.
How the arms are crossed will give notice to both friends and strangers. If they are loosely crossed, he is probably “open” and feeling relaxed, such as he would be when in conversation with friends. He’ll tighten that cross when giving notice that he is “closed” not agreeing with someone, or even feeling anger about what is being said. He doesn’t need to voice disapproval – it’s obvious.
Hands are the most common nonverbal clue and are used with the voice to add emphasis to any kind of talk. They are much easier to read than arms, as it is hard to misinterpret their body language:
So, watch the hands of a guy who is talking and laughing in your company. You will probably notice that his hands are open and relaxed. He is confident. And if he finds you attractive, he may use those hands to touch you subtly, probably on your arms or hands.
Much like hands, it is much easier to not misinterpret the body language of someone’s legs. For example, a great sign that someone feels relaxed is when they cross their legs in order to make themselves comfortable. This usually involves bending one leg and putting its foot over the other leg.
With an alpha male, there is often another position, referred to as the “man spread.” This position is basically the legs spread apart as he is sitting. He is saying that he is in control – of himself, of his life, and very comfortable in his own skin. If you see him sit this way, you can be sure he is a confident person. Women seem to be attracted to this type if they are looking for a good “catch” – someone whose behavior is “take charge” and who will protect and take care of them. Of course, it helps if he is also attractive.
A man who bounces his leg up and down is probably nervous in a situation, even when with whom he may talk and even laugh. Women exhibit this anxious behavior too. This is one of the clear signs of insecurity. And to cover that movement, he’ll stand up rather than have others observe his “nervous” legs.
Eye contact is a great sign of confidence in all social interactions. Of course, seeing if he’s directing his eyes at you or at other women isn’t the only signal that you should be looking for. Check out his pupil dilation that could convey feelings of interest in a much more subtle way that many people aren’t entirely aware of.
You may also notice that his eyes may shift in direction or that his eye movements may essentially lead you to look toward something else. When this happens, it is possible that the guy may be dishonest about things in his life. You’ve probably heard the term “shifty eyes.” Of course, these movements are supposed to be subtle, however, as you spend time and pay attention to him, you’ll realize that his eye movement may be a lot more obvious than you first observed.
Staring is also something to pay attention to as well. A guy who stares could easily be giving a sign that he is interested and considering taking a chance with you. However, staring can also be a sign that that gentleman thinks that you might be rather strange. If you are getting this vibe, just laugh it off and move on. (or stay if you like the idea that someone thinks you are “strange”).
There is a lot you can interpret from the eyebrows. In fact, some even refer to them as the exclamation point of the face or the emotional front door. Raised eyebrows can convey feelings of surprise, anxiety, or interest.
A furrowed brow could convey feelings of focus or questioning depending on the situation. Keep your eye on those eyebrows as he interacts with you or others who may be present.
Let’s take a simple example. He has asked you a question. And as you answer, he raises his brows. That answer may have surprised or interested him. You’ll know which by his follow-up questions, of course.
Take a quick glance at his face and determine how he is really feeling. Is he really angry, or is he just trying to make himself look tough? Do his eyes seem to crinkle whenever he smiles? Also, notice his mouth:
There are many subtle details that you can look at that can let you know how he actually feels in the moment.
Imitation is referred to as one of the greatest forms of flattery because it shows that the guy is attracted to you. Also, people have a tendency to copy those whom they like. So, he may mirror you because he admirer or wants to be like you.
If you think he’s copying you, pay attention to your own movements and language and change your position slightly. Then take a quick look at him. If he has copied you, it is a good sign that he secretly likes you.
When you find yourself in the potential interest of an attractive person, take a deep breath and compile all of the nonverbal signs that they are actually interested in you. Once you feel pretty certain that he is interested in you, take the time to use some tricks of your own to determine if the guy likes you and see if there are other signs of his attraction.
Related reading: Relationship Advice for Women That Will Help Your Love Life
If you have decided that his body language leaves room for you to approach the guy, take the initiative and introduce yourself. It’s time to hear what comes from his lips, not just his body. After all, if you are interested, you have to give some verbal signals that you are.
Get to know them. What kind of a woman do they want to spend time with, or rather, what is their type? Be curious. Ask about their friends, interests, and how do those interests happen to fall into play with yours.
By talking, you’ll be able to develop your relationships in a positive way from the beginning. You can also get an idea of their reaction to certain movements and behavior from you personally.
“Unnecessary touches are a turn-on because they can signal a willingness to venture beyond the safe boundaries we usually maintain between ourselves and others.”
Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical psychologist
When trying to see if other guys like you, some mild flirting can give you a good idea of how much or how little he likes you. Move closer to him, and maybe even try a pickup line. If he doesn’t scramble for more space or responds positively, that’s a good sign that a guy likes you. Might just be a future here.
Women who are not hesitant to flirt a bit will be giving themselves plenty of room to judge responses. A woman who doesn’t may never know how a guy really feels and may have missed out on a great opportunity. And in this day and age, girl flirting is both normal and appreciated by guys. You might even try puckering those lips and blowing him a kiss from across the room! Be creative and think of other things you can do to flirt. It’s fun.
If you have read this article, you now know a lot more about body language than you probably ever want to know. But knowing the messages that are being sent to you by a guy’s body language will certainly let you know if he is attracted to you or not and let you know if he is worth pursuing.