Survey: The Most Unlikely Place to Meet Someone
Funerals aren’t where most people expect to meet someone. But life, as it turns out, doesn’t always follow the script.
Hily surveyed 3,200 Gen Z and Millennial American daters to find out how people feel about romantic connections at funerals and memorial services – and whether they consider it acceptable when neither person is an immediate family member of the deceased. The results are a bit more nuanced than one might suggest.
Here are some key findings from our survey:
- 40% of Millennial and 29% of Gen Z daters who have attended a funeral as an adult have felt physically attracted to someone they met there
- 55% of Gen Z and 65% of Millennial daters would exchange contact info with someone they met at a funeral to set up a date later
- 64% of Gen Z and 71% of Millennial daters would be supportive of a friend who met someone at a funeral or memorial service
- Nearly 1 in 3 Millennial daters would be open to using a dating app at a funeral or memorial service
Attraction Doesn’t Check the Occasion
Most daters have been to a funeral as an adult. A notable share left with someone on their mind. 71% of Gen Z and 91% of Millennial daters have attended a funeral or memorial service as an adult. Millennials, naturally, have had more time to accumulate those experiences.
Of those who have attended, 29% of Gen Z and 40% of Millennial daters say they’ve felt physically attracted to someone they met there. It’s not a majority experience – but it’s far from rare.
51% of Gen Z and 61% of Millennial daters say they noticed someone attractive at a service but chose not to pursue it. The gap between noticing someone and doing something about it is wide. At a funeral, it’s even wider.
For some, the moment didn’t stay at the service. 32% of Gen Z and 40% of Millennial daters say they’ve thought about someone they met at a funeral after it ended. Whatever connection formed in that setting, it was memorable enough to linger.
Is It Actually Acceptable?
Opinions are divided, but less dramatically than expected. 41% of Gen Z and 52% of Millennial daters think flirting at a funeral should be socially acceptable when done respectfully – provided neither person is an immediate family member of the deceased. Millennials are notably more open to the idea than Gen Z.
When it comes to actually doing something about it, more than half of the surveyed daters are on board. 55% of Gen Z and 65% of Millennial daters say they’d exchange contact information with someone they met at a funeral to set up a date later. The setting might be unconventional. The willingness to follow up is not.
The story that comes after the first meeting is a different kind of question. 37% of Gen Z and 22% of Millennial daters say they’d feel embarrassed telling others they met their partner at a funeral. Gen Z expresses more discomfort with the origin story than Millennials – an interesting generational split given that Millennials attend more funerals overall.
From the outside looking in, most people are supportive. 64% of Gen Z and 71% of Millennial daters say they’d encourage a friend who met someone at a funeral to pursue it. Judging the situation from a distance apparently produces a more generous verdict than imagining yourself in it.
Checking Matches Between Condolences
The phone is already in the pocket. Whether it comes out depends on the person. Nearly 1 in 4 Gen Z and 1 in 3 Millennial daters say they’d be open to checking dating app matches at a funeral or memorial service. It’s a minority view – but not a negligible one.
Responding to matches while at a service follows a similar pattern. More than 1 in 4 Gen Z and 1 in 3 Millennial daters say they’d do it. Notifications don’t pause for the occasion. Apparently, some daters don’t either.
A Different Kind of Chance Encounter
The context doesn’t have to be a formal service. 61% of Gen Z and 71% of Millennial daters say they’d be open to going on a date with someone they met while visiting a cemetery. A chance encounter in a quiet place is still a chance encounter.
The Occasion Doesn’t Change the Feeling
Funerals bring people together in circumstances that are already emotionally charged. That two people might notice each other in that setting isn’t surprising – people are people, and connection doesn’t pause for the occasion.
The data show that most young American daters aren’t scandalized by the idea. They’re thoughtful about it. The caveat about immediate family members appears consistently, suggesting that context and proximity to grief matter in how people draw the line.
Meeting someone at a funeral isn’t a conventional origin story. But for a meaningful share of daters, it’s not an impossible one either. The meet-cute didn’t follow the script, but most good ones don’t.