Survey: Dating in the Age of AI Displacement

Economic anxiety has been a subtle presence in dating for a while. But as AI reshapes the job market in real time, that anxiety is getting more specific, and for a growing number of daters, it’s starting to have an influence on who they pursue.

Hily surveyed 2,900 Gen Z and Millennial American daters to find out how AI’s impact on employment is affecting their views on romance. From profile evaluations to long-term partner preferences, the results show us that job stability and AI vulnerability are becoming part of how daters size each other up.

Some key findings from our survey:

• Nearly half of Gen Z and 52% of Millennial daters consider a secure and steady job extremely or very important in a long-term partner
• Nearly 1 in 3 Gen Z and Millennial women have passed on someone they liked because of concerns about their job stability
• Almost half of daters surveyed would be more interested in a match who said they were learning new skills to stay ahead of AI
• 1 in 3 Gen Z daters would be less interested in dating someone whose job was building AI tools that replace human workers

Steady Work, Steady Interest

Job security has always been part of long-term compatibility math. AI is just making the math more complicated. Nearly half of Gen Z and 52% of Millennial daters consider it extremely or very important that a long-term partner has a secure, steady job. Millennials hold this view slightly more strongly, likely shaped by more years navigating an economy that has already shifted significantly around them.

Income is a related, but separate, consideration. Roughly a quarter of surveyed Gen Z and Millennial daters consider a good income extremely or very important for a long-term partner. Stability and earning level matter, but stability edges out income as the more common priority.

For women, knowing what a match does professionally before meeting in person carries some weight: 30% of Gen Z and 38% of Millennial women consider it extremely or very important to know a match’s job before meeting up, compared to 14% of men across both generations. Occupation is treated as relevant information before the first date, especially for women.

The AI Anxiety Underneath It All

AI and the broader economic situation shape individual decisions. Nearly 3 in 10 Gen Z and about 1 in 4 Millennial daters say news about AI replacing jobs makes them extremely or very worried about the future. Gen Z, entering a job market already being reshaped by AI, reports slightly more anxiety than Millennials.

More than 8 in 10 Gen Z and 9 in 10 Millennial daters are currently working or self-employed. The AI job replacement question isn’t theoretical for most daters in the survey; it’s something they’re already navigating in their own careers.

Job market worry and dating worry run parallel for a lot of young Americans. If they lost their job to AI, nearly a third of working Gen Z and Millennial daters say they would worry a great deal or a lot that dates would view it as a personal failure. Losing a job to automation is one thing, but being judged for it by a romantic partner would be the cherry on top of the nightmare sundae for some daters.

Shared anxiety can create connection for some daters: 32% of Gen Z and 28% of Millennial daters say they’d feel extremely or very emotionally close to a date who shared their level of worry about AI and job security. For many daters, common ground on an uncomfortable topic is a bonding point.

Running the AI Risk Assessment

At least some of the time, 1 in 3 Gen Z and 1 in 4 Millennial daters consider whether a potential date’s job could be replaced by AI. It’s not a constant consideration for most, but it happens regularly enough to factor into how daters evaluate matches on the app.

Similarly, 1 in 5 Gen Z and Millennial women think dating someone whose job could be replaced by AI is a bad idea, compared to fewer than 1 in 10 men in both generations. The concern is a minority view overall, but the gender gap is consistent and notable.

That concern translates into actual behavior. Nearly 1 in 3 Gen Z and Millennial women have passed on someone they liked because of worries about job stability, compared to just 13% of men. Job security concerns aren’t just a conversation topic; for a meaningful share of women, they’ve changed an actual dating outcome.

Even at the profile-viewing stage, AI vulnerability matters for daters. Roughly 1 in 8 daters say they’d be unlikely to match if, on someone’s profile, their job looked like one AI might easily replace. It’s a smaller share than those who’ve passed on someone over job stability concerns, but it suggests that evaluation happens before any conversation.

The Job That Gives Some Daters the Ick

Working in AI isn’t a neutral data point for many daters. Which side of the AI line someone sits on is being noticed. In fact, 1 in 3 Gen Z and more than 1 in 5 Millennial daters say they’d be less interested in dating someone whose job was building AI tools that replace human workers. For Gen Z especially, siding with AI has a cost.

What Makes Someone More Appealing

Job security relative to AI also works as a positive signal. For 30% of Gen Z and 26% of Millennial daters, having a job that seems safe from AI replacement would make a match more appealing as a long-term partner. Stability in an unstable landscape is an attractive quality.

Mentioning you’re upskilling to stay ahead of AI is another good first-date talking point. Nearly half of daters say they’d be more interested in a match who mentioned they were learning new skills to stay ahead of AI. Proactively responding to the threat of AI signals more than job security; it suggests awareness and initiative that resonates across both generations.

Despite all of this, the conversation itself remains rare. Only 1 in 10 daters say they’re likely to ask a date directly whether they’re worried about being laid off due to AI. The concern is present, but it seems the willingness to bring it up out loud is not.

The Job Market Changed. Dating Followed.

Job stability has long been part of how people evaluate long-term compatibility. What’s new is the layer AI is adding to that calculation: a specific, fast-moving variable that’s making daters think differently about what a secure future with someone might look like.

Most daters aren’t making vulnerability to AI a dealbreaker. But some are factoring it in at every stage, from profile evaluations to whether they ultimately pursue someone they’re interested in. And while few are asking about it directly, the question is quietly present in how matches are being assessed.

In a job market where the ground is shifting, someone who’s paying attention to that shift is, for many daters, worth paying attention to.

The methodology

Hily’s research team surveyed 2,900 Gen Z and Millennial daters in the United States to explore how AI’s impact on employment is affecting romantic decision-making. The study examined how job stability, AI vulnerability, and automation anxiety influence partner evaluations, dating decisions, and long-term compatibility judgments.

About Hily

Hily (pronounced “high-ly”) is the app to date as you are. Short for “Hey, I Like You,” Hily helps daters embrace their true selves, make genuine connections and enjoy dating without the pressure of chasing a perfect image.

Features like Icks & Click compatibility check, Discover tab and Consent Guard give daters confidence to express who they are and connect with people who get them.

Since launching in 2017, Hily has grown into one of the top 5 dating apps in US app stores, with more than 43 million downloads worldwide.