When it comes to sex life, people tend to behave selfishly. After all, when you feel sexually satisfied, it’s hard to notice that the person you just had sexual intercourse with also feels the same satisfaction. Time goes, her behavior changes – and when things explode, you finally realize that’s what happens when a woman is not sexually satisfied!
The bitter truth is that many women have to deal with unsatisfying sexual encounters when their own sexual satisfaction is often ignored. Of course, it’s not your fault that this happens so often in our society – but the fact that your woman is unhappy is surely your responsibility. So, let’s take a look at what happens when a woman is not sexually satisfied by looking at the causes, the signs, and of course what you can do about it.
What Causes a Woman Not to Be Sexually Satisfied: 9 Common Reasons
Are you having a great sex life with the woman you love, but can tell things aren’t working that way for her? If that’s your problem, take a look at 9 main things that may cause women to lose a sense of pleasure and enthusiasm for sex.
1. She Lacks Interest in Sex Overall
It may happen that your woman is asexual, meaning that she’s interested in you romantically only, without sexual desire present. If that’s a surprise for you, fill your sex education gaps: some women may not be interested in fulfilling her sexual desire in the climax. She may prefer masturbating for that, for example. And there’s nothing wrong about you – or men in general – with that.
Remember that sexual attraction is a spectrum. It’s also possible that the woman you are with simply has a different sex drive than you. She may not be unsatisfied – she just doesn’t have the same level of interest in sex.
For example, you might desire sex on a daily basis while she is good being intimate once or twice a month. You may be able to coax her into the mood more often, but there may always be some discrepancy between your libido and hers.
2. Chaotic Relationship
If you’re in a chaotic relationship, it’s mentally and emotionally exhausting for having a great sex. To enjoy it, you need to have a certain amount of energy to put towards the intimacy that takes place during sexual activity. But if you spend time on fixing chaos in your relationship, there’s no place for her to reveal her sexuality.
3. Not Enough Intimacy
Intimacy is a huge part of sexual satisfaction. Many sexually dissatisfied women state that the reason they feel unsatisfied with their sex life is because they feel like there is not enough intimacy in their relationship. It’s hard to have one’s sexual needs satisfied by penetrative sex when such an important component of one’s relationships seems to be missing. Bottom line, she may not be getting the pleasure she needs.
4. Stress and Fatigue
A sexually dissatisfied woman may not be just about you or the relationship that she is in. Remember that your female partner has their own pains and other outside factors that can cause stress and anxiety.
As she is complaining about her sexual dissatisfaction, listen carefully to what she is complaining about. It may not be what is happening or not happening during the sex act, but throughout the rest of her day. And it’s really hard to enjoy sex in this situation for anybody.
5. Physical Health Issues
Sexual activity is a physically daunting task that one will only be able to properly complete when both people are physically capable. Chronic illness or injury will hinder your sexual performance and inhibit both male and female sexual satisfaction.
Even if there isn’t a diagnosed health condition, something could be going on. Is she feeling signs of illness or injury such as fatigue? Check it.
6. Lack of Emotional Connection
Intimacy is a huge part of any sexual connections we may make. Most women want to participate in sexual activities with someone they are in a romantic relationship with.
Without that emotional connection, physical connection is just as good or even worse than self pleasure, which is an entirely different type of sexual experience. If that’s your case, try to have a conversation with the her to see if she desires a deeper connection.
7. Lack of Skill, Knowledge, and Experience
Sexual dissatisfaction may come from the fact that you don’t have the experience needed. After all, for some people good sex comes naturally, while in most cases it comes with experience.
One way to gauge sexual skill is in your ability to bring your partner to orgasm. However, that isn’t the only thing women want. She may be expecting something deeper and longer-lasting from her lovers – something she cannot reach by masturbating. Try to add some knowledge to your sex education if that’s your case.
Related reading: Want Some Spice? Add a Sexual Surprise to Your Sex Life
8. Body Image Issues
Women often struggle to be happy with the body they have at any given moment. This can make them feel less than desirable, hesitant to express themselves sexually, and neglect woman’s ability to relax and reach climax.
Negative body images can make some women so tense that they will force you to choose positions and acts that allow them to hide their bodies. But if you want her to reach orgasm, make sure she feels beautiful naked with you.
9. Issues with Past Partners
Negative dating experiences can have an impact on future sexual desire. If she’s had something that made her feel less sure of herself in the bedroom, she may struggle to reach an orgasm with you. To fix this, she should work on her trauma – and everything you can do is just support her on this way.
3 Ways a Woman Shows That She Is Not Satisfied Sexually
Sexual dissatisfaction can be shown in a number of ways. You may have noticed a direct change in attitude, like she seems cold toward you or stops initiating sex once she realizes you don’t keep her happy. Here are 3 main ways that she is showing her lover that she is not satisfied in bed.
1. Negative Changes in Behavior
A clear sign that your partners are not satisfied by intercourse is negative changes in behavior. Remember that not everybody is going to be directly open about their feelings, especially because talking about the body in such a way is considered to be taboo by many people. If she seems to be irritated or annoyed, especially after sex, she is likely unsatisfied by your recent sexual encounter.
On the other hand, some women are conditioned to never give any sort of negative feedback to men about their sexual performance. Think of the encounter from her point of view:
- Did she climax or not?
- Was there enough foreplay to truly get her in the mood?
- Would you have been happy with that encounter if you were a woman?
Just because she doesn’t say anything or act unhappy doesn’t mean things are good.
2. She’s Expressing Dissatisfaction
You don’t need a good sex therapist to read between the lines for this. While some women are not much for open communication, when it comes to their sexual dissatisfaction, other women are very much open to it. Of course, the issue comes when the blood flow goes to the wrong head. Many women feel as if they are not on the same page as their partner when they express their dissatisfaction to deaf ears.
If the woman you care about is able to express in words why she isn’t satisfied with your sex life, she means everything she says. So just listen to her. For real this time.
3. Rejecting Intimacy
Sex and intimacy are so close. If you were to make a Venn diagram of the aspects of both, it would almost become a circle. So, as she has trouble reaching orgasm in bed, she may feel a lack of intimacy from you.
This lack of intimate feelings between you two can lead her to reject you during intimate moments such as kissing, or cuddling. Observe the signs if that’s your case.
What Can You Do? 6 Tips and Strategies
If you’re reading this, you clearly want the woman you love to be happy with your sexual experiences together. To do this, you want to find out exactly what is going on.
Ask yourself these questions:
- Is she having trouble reaching orgasm?
- Are there things in your relationship outside of the bedroom that may be causing issues?
- Is she struggling with body image issues?
Once you do this, you and the woman you love can begin working on solutions to ensure that she is as satisfied in bed as possible. Here are 6 strategies you can use for that.
1. Talk with Her
Communication and intimacy are both huge aspects of sex – and for women, the best sex is mostly based on mental aspects instead of physical. If she seems to not feel satisfied after sex and especially if she says that she does not feel satisfied after sex, the best first step to talk with her.
Things for you to discuss:
- Why she feels like she cannot reach orgasm
- How she feels about being directly stimulated
- What is her way to reach orgasm
- What more does she need during sex
- How she sees sex in general and with you in particular
This process may be more challenging than you anticipate. Men are often socialized to believe that satisfying sex consists of brief foreplay followed by penetration during which both people climax. In truth, while almost all men orgasm during intercourse, only about half of women do.
This doesn’t mean you aren’t good in bed, but it does mean you should probably change your approach to make her happier.
2. Visit a Doctor
An inability to be sexually satisfied can be a sign of other underlying issues. It could even be one of the telltale signs of many illnesses and injuries, such as sexual dysfunction, hypothyroidism, and heart failure.
If you and your partner have had a great time attempting to reach orgasm and are suddenly having difficulties, it could be one of the physical signs that there is some sort of underlying medical conditions that need to be looked into.
3. Focus on the Issues in Your Relationship
As her current partner, you can help her navigate through issues with other relationships. However, it is important to focus on the flaws of your own relationships.
When women cannot reach orgasm during sex, there are likely more than just physical aspects in play. Take a moment to discuss things with your girlfriend and make an attempt to fix things if there are issues.
Related reading: A Guide on How to Be a Better Boyfriend
Remember that her mood can be impacted by things that happen throughout the day. For example, your morning grumpiness, a bad day at work, or financial stress can all impact her appetite for sex and her ability to orgasm.
4. Develop Your Skills
It can feel like a real blow to your ego if the issue turns out to be your performance. Don’t feel bad if this is the case. Remember that sex is a learned skill.
Additionally, what worked for other partners you’ve had may not work for her. The good news is that there are many steps you can take on your own and with her to build your skills in this area.
5. Ask Her What She Likes and Dislikes
Again, you have to talk about things. Sometimes, huge improvements can be made simply by talking about what works for her and what doesn’t.
Related reading: How to Be a Better Lover – Inside and Out
6. Plan More Dates
Finally, a good sexual connection is almost always associated with a relationship that is satisfying in many ways. Work to connect with her as much as possible on an emotional level. Enjoy spending time with each other. Pursue shared interests. These things will almost assuredly lead to her being more sexually satisfied.
Good luck and enjoy your next night together!
