Tantric Sex – The Mind-Body-Soul Connection

Intimacy & Sex
14 May 2024
9 min read
What Is Tantric Sex and How to Practice It

How’s your sex life? And what does a sexual connection mean to you? Does sexual intercourse involve just a physical and emotional connection with a partner? Do you ever wonder if maybe there is more out there than the norms of what sexual pleasure means to you, no matter what your preferred sexual practice and sexual experiences have been?

If you have thought about these things, you may be ready for tantric sex. Read on to see what it is and how it works.

Understanding Tantra

The term “tantra” comes from the Sanskrit word root “tan” which means to weave or compose.

Tantra comes from early Hindu and Buddhist philosophy and the ancient Indian practice that comes from a deep connection between a person’s mind, body, and soul. It became a prominent theosophical thought among Indic religions by the thirteenth century when several other political and social upheavals occurred. This ancient practice puts a person on the ancient spiritual path toward spiritual awakening, spiritual connection, living in the present moment, and the need to practice mindfulness constantly.

But this connection goes beyond that. Once a person has achieved their personal connection, they are then ready to work on a connection with all other people and things. This can lead to some unorthodox practices, including tantric sex and sexual activities, which we’ll discuss in this article.

What Is Tantric Sex?

Are you ready to throw out the concept of sex of the mundane world in which you live? How about the “normal” idea that you should only have one partner? What about the idea that your own body, mind, and soul are not just yours but a part of a universal mind, body, and soul?

If you believe you are ready, then it’s time to explore tantric sex.

Above all else, tantric sex is actually a type of meditation. The goal is to be connected to another person on all three levels and to share sexual energy. Tantric sexuality might even be called sacred sexuality. Tantric sex is all about bonding physically, mentally, and spiritually. If it were just about physical and romantic connection with your other partner, then there is no tantric bonding.

Often, in tantric sex, there is no orgasm because that’s not the goal. Again, it’s about sharing sexual energy and allowing it to flow between the two of you.

Being in the present moment is at the core of tantric sex

One More Thing

Tantric sex does not necessarily involve two people. It can be getting in tune with your own body and having an intimate experience with yourself. Indeed, a key part of tantric sex is first to feel connected to your body and to learn what brings it pleasure and the way it experiences pleasure. If you do choose to explore tantric sex with another, you must get to know each other’s bodies intimately. Again, it’s not just about having a sexual experience – it’s about exploration, bonding, getting the energy flowing between the two of you, and having a sensual experience.

Related reading: How to Be a Better Lover – Inside and Out

3 Steps to Prepare for Tantric Sex

Above all, tantra, in its wider definition, is a spiritual practice of connecting body, mind, and soul. Many who are ready to explore the sexual energy of tantric sex find that mental preparation helps in the form of meditation. Here is a simple three-step guide to get into the right mood.

1. Focus on Breathing Techniques

Breathing can help to clear the mind of all of those random thoughts rummaging around in your mind and increase self-awareness. Here are some techniques for you to try.

A Stimulating Breath

With eyes closed, focus on relaxing your stomach. Then inhale and exhale through your nose – about three of these each second. Then breathe normally and begin the next cycle, increasing the number of breaths and the amount of time each rotation. The goal is to do this by breathing in and out for a full minute.

The 4-7-8 Regimen

The goal of this practice is to dispel tension and get your body relaxed. Exhale through your mouth. Close your mouth and inhale through your nose while you count to four. Hold that breath while counting to seven. Exhale slowly from your mouth while counting to eight. Repeat as necessary until you feel your body fully relaxed.

Counting Your Breaths

This can also serve to clear your mind and relax the body. It’s simple. Inhale normally and then exhale as you mentally count one. Keep doing this up to a count of five. Then start over. Do this until you feel your mind has dispelled all of those worldly thoughts that interfere with your peace.

Get physical as part of your practice to reveal sexual energy

2. Get a Bit Physical

In addition to breathing techniques, there are some simple stretching exercises. One of these is stretching your arms and legs.

As you stretch out each limb, visualize the negative thoughts and energy leaving your mind and body. Keep up that stretching until you feel you have unpacked all of that negativity and cleared the way for actual tantric sex practice.

Related reading: The Art and Skill of Making Love

3. Prepare Your Physical Space

There are several things to be mindful of here:

  • Temperature: No extremes is the goal here. You want your space to be in a temperature range in the 70s. You want your space at a moderate temperature.
  • Setting your mood: You need to be in the right mental place for tantric sex. Light candles or use soft light bulbs.
  • Scent is important: What is your favorite scent – one that just makes you feel good? Fill your space with that scent but not overwhelmingly so. You want it to make you feel relaxed and sexy.
  • Soften your space: Satin is good. So are soft, cushiony pillows. Or how about a plush, soft throw rug? When you soften your space, you will have heightened sensuality during your tantric sex experience.
  • Music: Music can bring the right vibe. Develop a playlist of soft music that you or you and your partner can slowly move to. This will set up sexual and sensual vibes.

Notice how setting the scene for tantric sex involves all the senses plus thought. The body-mind-soul connection requires this.

How to Build the Moment

Remember, tantric sex first involves becoming a master of your own body before you can introduce that body to someone else.

Engage in Solo Play

Penetrative sex with a partner without your own body preparation is succumbing to the norms of society. Tantric techniques shed these norms. So what do you do all by yourself?

  • Start with meditation using the techniques described above. But go beyond that now. In a seated and meditative state, visualize your energy flowing down into Mother Earth and then letting that energy flow back into you.
  • Give yourself a tantric massage. Slowly self-massage, using a pleasing lotion or oil. Rub that into every part of your body, moving your hands slowly and embracing the sensations you are feeling. As you experience this full-body massage, stay in tune with what is happening in your mind.
  • Move on to masturbation. Now here’s the thing about masturbation. It’s not about having an orgasm. It’s about exploration. Play with your genitals in new ways. And keep it slow and soft. In the beginning, you may experience premature ejaculation, but as you become more masterful, this will cease.

As you continue to explore your body, you will come to love it. Once you do, you are ready to practice tantric sex with a partner.

Building the Moment With a Partner

Again, you must remember that the practice of tantric sex is not about the sex. It’s about spiritual bonding, and getting to mutually know your bodies, and may not even include the sex act. Here are ways to set the moment with a partner.

  • Foreplay sets the stage. It can be whatever you and your partner decide it should be. It may include massage, orally exploring one another’s bodies, bathing together, etc.
  • Sit facing each other. Look at each other and maintain eye contact. Move your bodies to the music you have playing or just improvise. The movements don’t have to be in sync. Each of you moves as you wish while you maintain that eye contact.
  • Begin touching each other. Whatever feels right should govern how each partner touches the other. After a short period of time, start kissing. Do not go beyond kissing at this point. Focus instead on the sensations you are feeling.
  • Sex may follow or not. Again, you both may feel connected enough to have sexual intercourse. If so, use it as further exploration into each other. Move slowly and try new things – creative touching, unique positions, etc. Enjoy each sensual experience as it happens. Tell each other what you are feeling.

Cuddling can weave energies

Lying together (with or without clothes) can bring about a deeper connection. Most recommend a spooning position front-to-back or front-to-front. The embrace of these positions will let the energy flow into each partner’s body if each partner is fully present in the moment. You may even want tolattice around your partner’s legs. A further flow of energy happens with a “giver” puts their hand over the receiver’s heart, and the receiver puts their hand on top of that. Another tip? Practice breathing in sync as you cuddle.

Important Note: It isn’t necessary to incorporate full tantra techniques in the beginning. Practice tantra in smaller doses as you explore and learn.

Getting into 3 Main Physical Positions to Practice Tantra

There are some basic tantric sex positions you will want to use as a beginner, keeping in mind that any position can ultimately be a tantric position if it becomes right for you. Let’s begin with those basics.

1. Yab-Yum Position (aka Lotus)

This is a classic tantric sex position. From a theosophical standpoint, it represents masculine and feminine energies coming together, but this has nothing to do with the partners’ genders. And the roles of being the base and receptive partner should be reversed.

  • The base partner is cross-legged on a pillow in a still or “holding” position.
  • The receptive partner sits on a pillow facing the base and drapes their legs over their base legs or may even move onto the base’s lap.
  • The base partner then wraps their arms around the waist of the receptive
  • The heads of the partners can then come together by cheeks or foreheads.

Once this cross-legged position is in place, it’s time to put some tantric techniques into action.

Begin with deep breathing, synchronizing your breaths. As you breathe deeply, begin to move together, maybe starting with slow movements or increasing the intensity as you both feel is right.

This tantra position can occur with or without clothes and will achieve the same effect. Some report that this position has corrected their erectile dysfunction and allowed achieving orgasm even without penetration.

2. Hand on Heart Position

Doing It Solo

Sit in a cross-legged position and keep your back straight. Then place your right hand on your heart. Feel its beat as you close your eyes and tune in to the rhythm. Visualize energy emanating from your heart through your hand and into the rest of your body.

Doing It With a Partner

Face your partner, both of you sitting cross-legged. Place your right hand on your partner’s heart as they place their right hand on yours. Place your focus on the energy that comes from each other’s heart, coursing through their arm and into your body, feeling the physical rhythm between your own heart and theirs, and ultimately your own mind and theirs.

3. The Relaxed Arch

Doing It Solo

You do not sit cross-legged for this one. Instead, you sit on your knees on the floor or your bed. Then you start to arch your back and do this slowly. Finally, get your head all the way back onto the floor or bed and stretch your arms around your head. At this point, use your right or left hand to explore every part of your body.

Doing It With a Partner

Your partner sits on the bed or floor with legs extended straight out. Then you straddle your partner’s lap on your knees and start the back arch taking your head all the way back between their legs. Take hold of their legs or ankles, At this point, you can explore what you can reach of your partner’s body and they can explore yours.

In this position, both of you can practice other tantric sex activities such as taking deep breaths in sync.

Is Tantra for You?

You won’t know until you submit to this theosophical thought as a way of life and begin to practice tantric sex, immersing yourself in its practices. If you do, you will find a new way of thinking and feeling and freedom from the norms that you have been conditioned to believe are correct, especially the belief that we exist separate from others.

At the heart of tantra is the interconnectedness of all humans. And if we are all connected, how can we judge, criticize, and make war against one another? Indeed, the more people who embrace tantra and tantric practice, the better world we create.

Love&Sex Expert
Cherie Hamilton
I’ve always been inspired by women who are outgoing, very sure of themselves, and not afraid to be who they were, including their sex lives. Under their tutelage, I gradually shed my old self, hung out and socialized with them, and, over time, became the empowered, self-confident, and sexual woman I am today. Happy to share my insights with other women today!
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