You sense that your relationship is evolving. You see some signs of affection. He stares at you, pays you compliments, and is physically affectionate. At this point, you’re probably dating, texting one another, and there’s a good chance that things have gotten physical. But are these things real signs he is slowly falling for you? Check out this guide to know!
12 Subtle Signs He Is Slowly Falling in Love
As you move through the early stages of your pairing, pay attention to these signs. If you spot them, it’s likely he is slowly falling for you and that’s a good start to consider how you feel and where you want your love life to go.
1. Other Guys Have Less Influence on Him
This isn’t universal, but many men are highly influenced by their friends. They tend to be emotionally invested in what their pals think. At first, they may feel self conscious about paying you compliments or making you a top priority. After all, no guy wants to be accused of being a simp or a pushover. At least they don’t until they find themselves slowly falling in love. Then, they won’t care what the other guys think.
Sometimes, he may even make a big deal of demanding that you be treated with respect, and included in the friend group. Of course, you don’t want to be the Yoko to his Beatles. Still, treating you as well as or better than his friends is one of the top signs he is slowly falling for you.
2. He Wants to Spend Time with You Doing Casual Things
You might think that he has strong feelings for you when he takes you out for a fancy meal, or you go to that big concert together. While these things are funny, you can bet he is slowly falling for you when he wants you to join him for more casual activities. The best couples truly enjoy doing nothing together.
For example, he might ask you to come along for the ride while he runs errands on a Sunday afternoon. That is a clear sign that he has enough feelings for you that he wants to incorporate you into his daily life. This also let’s you know that he just enjoys chatting with you.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t expect romance and consideration. Those things are also important. No matter how comfortable you and your guy are with one another, you should always prioritize romantic gestures and affection. These are the things that keep a romantic relationship exciting.
“Your few days together have been spent doing nothing really, which is something, is an intimacy in itself.”
3. He Makes Eye Contact and Changes His Body Language
Body language can be a bit tricky. Don’t look to a single gesture or moment of eye contact to tell you how he feels. Instead, focus on his gestures and posture over time. Or, do his eyes light up when he sees you? Is his body language transparent and authentic? Does his facial expression match his body language? These are the undeniable signs that he is falling in love.
4. He Seeks Out Your Opinions
When he is just crushing on you, your guy won’t give you much thought when he makes a life decision. However, when a man falls for a woman, he craves her approval. Also, he considers how the choices he makes might influence their loving relationship.
When he acts concerned about your opinions, you can be sure that he has also developed a healthy sense of respect for you and your views. This means that your coupling has gone beyond a crush or simple sexual attraction. He genuinely respects you and thinks a lot of your ideas.
5. You Get to Meet His Family
For a guy, meeting his friends is a big deal. Just the fact that he is taking this step is a sure sign of his growing feelings for you. You can count this as another definite sign that things are getting serious.
Side note: If you feel like a nervous wreck before this meeting, relax. Remember, if he’s a catch he probably has a great family. Besides, you can hit his mom up for some tailor made advice about her son.
6. You Begin Receiving Thoughtful Gifts
At first, the gifts you receive in a romantic partnership tend to be nice, but generic. Think chocolates and flowers. Later, as he begins to fall in love, he starts paying attention to your interests. He picks up on your needs, and learns your favorites. As that happens, he starts to choose gifts and experiences that are truly personalized and thoughtful.
For example, if he notices you enjoy playing games, he may just turn up with your favorite tabletop game. Even better, he will arrange a game night with some of your closest friends.
“If you or your partner’s love language is gifts, that means you feel loved [or that you’re demonstrating love] with a tangible item. Whether that item is a tiny trinket from a thrift store or a 50-foot sailboat is inconsequential. Either convey the same message: I was thinking about you when I saw this. You’re always on my mind.”
Mark E. Williams, a licensed mental health counselor and relationship coach
7. He Gives You a Pet Name
Forget a pet names like ‘sweetie’ or ‘honeybun’. Everybody knows that a man falling in love with you is going to give you some weirdly specific pet name. It can be something like ‘stinky-feet’ or ‘zebra-cakes’. That’s the kind of sweet nickname you get from a man who really knows you, enjoys spending time with you, and is comfortable enough to show his sense of humor.
8. He Pays You Genuine Compliments
Compliments are a bit like gifts. During your first conversation or two, his compliments will be a bit shallow. Later, if your guy is falling in love, he will know exactly what to say to make you feel amazing. This is another great sign that he is ready for a loving partnership, and that he is paying attention to you.
Related reading: A Guide to Growing an Exclusive Relationship
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9. You’re the First Person He Contacts with News
He gets a promotion. His boss chews him out and makes him feel stupid. He’s worried about his elderly dog. He decides to move into a bigger apartment. If you are the one he calls first with news about his life or his latest personal experience, he may be falling for you.
Think about it. Who do you contact with the big and little things in your life? Isn’t that the most important person to you? He has serious feelings for you and sees you as both a best friend and a lover.
10. His Talent for Physical Touch Improves
When it comes to pleasing you, men take some time to learn. As he falls for you, his physical attraction only gets stronger. He commits to getting to know your body and learning how to please you. Of course, this includes sexual pleasure, but it also applies to non-sexual touch. For example, he may learn the physical signs that you are stiff and sore, then offer a great backrub or massage.
Related reading: Does He Want You Badly Sexually? Know the Signs
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11. You Feel Comfortable in His Presence
A guy falling for you doesn’t always mean your life is full of excitement. Sometimes, it is simply feeling safe and comfortable around each other. For example, have you broken the refrigerator barrier? That means you both feel comfortable opening up the other’s refrigerator to grab a beverage. Does his dog treat you like an old friend? This is also one of the undeniable signs that he is in love.
12. The Hero Instinct Emerges
Society tells men to be fixers and rescuers. When men fall in love, they often feel very compelled to share their commitment to you through acts of service. He will take time out of his busy schedule to help you around the house and ensure you have what you need.
Why Guys Send Mixed Messages
If he sends mysterious signals, he isn’t just being a mysterious guy. There is a good chance that he just isn’t very interested in you. If he was truly falling in love, all the signs would be there. If that is the case, don’t cause yourself more pain by working to make that man fall in love. When a guy likes you, it’s going to be easy. Things will just feel right.
Related reading: When No Response is a Response – How to Know
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Is It Time For a Relationship Coach?
One of the more difficult love situations occurs when you can’t read each other’s signals. One of you may be falling in love almost at first sight, while the other is playing things slow. How do you know if you are a good match? What if you keep looking for the best signs of falling in love, but just aren’t sure? You’ve tried talking things through, but can’t get on the same page. Also, you may feel as though you keep offering guys the best version of yourself, but a relationship never happens.
If any of these things resonate with you, consider working with a dating coach. They will work with you to better understand when a guy likes you based on these and other signs. A certified relationship coach can help you and your new partner determine whether those romantic feelings are going to into something deeper.
4 Most Common Mixed Signals
When it comes to noticing if someone is falling for you or not, sometimes the signals can be misidentified. After all the difference between a romantic and a friendly touch can be identified by a mere moment of extra contact. Here are some of the most common confusing signals, how to interpret them in your relationship, and the best course of action for each scenario
1. No Consistency in Plans
It goes without saying that a fair weather relationship of any sort is never something that you wish to deal with. They may find it fun to make the plans and act all excited for them. They may also choose to cancel those plans at the very last possible moment while leaving you confused and hurt. Either way, it sends a confusing message of excitement and disinterest toward you.
When dealing with this mixed signal you need to establish boundaries with him. While stuff happens and plans get canceled, this shouldn’t be a consistent pattern without any explanation.
2. Everything Matters When It’s Convenient Only
It’s suspicious if the person you are in contact with will constantly ghosts you and then suddenly starts to love bomb you. Usually, there’s some form of deal attached to this behaviour. Maybe they need money, some form of excuse to skip out on an event or something about you to show off to others.
In any case, the relationship based only upon convenience is incredibly unhealthy. If you find yourself in a relationship like this the best option is to call it off.
3. Claiming a Deeper Emotional Connection but Never Following Through on It
You both seem to be willing to become closer on an emotional level. But it appears that they never want to open up to you, or that everything they do tell appears completely inconsistent and unable to lead you to the right place. It may even feel like he’s purposefully giving you an incorrect road map through his emotions.
If you find yourself dealing with a situation like this, it’s best to just take a step back and analyze your relationship. Are you really close enough to be able to navigate what lies ahead of this emotional barricade? If you are, you shouldn’t do it on your own.
4. Flirting with Others
If you see them openly flirting with another person, it’s hard to determine if they actually like you or merely using you as practice fodder for the real prize. However, there is the chance that you are developing feelings for them. Thus, make sure you’re not overly interpreting what may be a completely harmless scenario.
Pay attention to how they interact with the person you believe they are flirting with. Is he leaning into them? Is he touching them more than necessary? Is he mimicking their movements? If yes, he is likely to be flirting. So what should you do? Having your emotions played with always hurts, especially when you believe that they like you a lot.
When you find yourself in this situation, your first step is setting a reasonable boundary. Tell him you don’t like being his practice fodder. If he refuses a reasonable boundary, it’s best to walk away from the scenario.
What to Do If He’s Fallen for You: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself
You went through all the steps and took notice of every single sign. Now, it’s time to stop for just a few minutes and establish what to do if you’ve determined that he has fallen hard. Going through it may take a few days or even weeks – however, you should take the necessary steps to establish your relationship or reject it.
1. Ask Yourself If You Want to Be With Him
Here are some things you can ask yourself to clarify what you feel for your male friend:
- How have you seen this man act while you knew him?
- Does he treat you and other girls with the respect that they deserve?
- Do you have the same interests or similar interests?
- Do you see a good sign of a decent future with him?
- Do you feel happy thinking that he may be the first one you see every morning?
If you say yes to all of these questions, it’s likely that the relationship will work out well and that you’ll be able to move ahead.
2. Talk with Others First
Before opening up to him, it’s best to talk with others. Ask his male friends questions about him and get stories from them. Of course, as they are his friends, not everyone is likely to give you the whole truth. But that’s better than nothing.
Take time to talk to your own close friends, as well as the friends that both of you share. When you find yourself wanting this guy to be a part of his life, you’ll want to make sure that you are getting the right information by talking to the right people.
3. Be Open and Confident About Your Own Feelings
You don’t owe someone a relationship, but you do owe them honesty. If you feel the same way as them, don’t hold back. Let them know how much you love them too!
On the other hand, if it isn’t mutual, don’t pretend it is. Be honest with the guy, but also gentle. Here is some related reading to help you get through that process.
Enjoy Falling Deeply in Love
There’s nothing quite like realizing you have fallen hard, and that it’s mutual. When you get someone on a deeper level, there are few things that match the strong connection you feel.
While it’s fine to pay attention to the signs he is slowly falling for you, don’t be too analytical. Just enjoy the journey instead! Spend time together, be authentic about your feelings, and embrace falling in love if it coming for you.
