Does the fact that someone wants you badly sexually sound embarrassing? But that’s the great news: the vast majority of love relationships between couples include sex, because it feels great and creates an intimate bond between two people. Just take a look of all the mental and physical benefits sex brings:
So, what’s not to love about making love?? And in this age of equality, both sexes can freely initiate sex, with more women preferring to make the first move – whether as the start of a relationship or just for one night stands.
So, as a female, how do you know that a man is interested? Here are 22 signs he wants you badly sexually – and this male attraction is real.
“Women want to talk first, connect first, then have sex. For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side. It is their language of intimacy.”
Esther Perel, psychotherapist
Sex is important for men in a different way than it is for women. The meaning behind sex for men ranges dramatically, from wanting to enter a relationship to just your legs spreading for his own selfish pleasure.
Here’s a list of all the signs you should look for if a man is physically attracted to you. Paying attention to them can help you decide if you want to move forward with him or not.
This sign works even if you have not been close. He will find reasons and ways to touch you when you are together, even in a larger social setting.
He may put his hand on your shoulder or touch your arm when you are talking; he may touch your hair while telling you how great you look. While these may be subtle signs, they do indicate that he is sexually interested in you.
He may exhibit intense eye contact when looking at you, even from across a room. But when you do talk, he gets physically close to you, keeps that eye contact, and at least pretends to be totally interested in what you have to say.
He doesn’t want to be just some random guy you talk to. He wants you to see him as someone who really views him in a positive way. He believes this will give him a sexual edge over other guys.
This is a sure indicator that he has a sexual attraction to you. Most guys who violate your personal space are sending an obvious sign that they want to be intimate with you.
It’s not a subtle sign – it’s clear that he is sexually attracted to you. If you welcome this “violation,” he will be encouraged and continue his physical flirting with you.
Smooth talking involves lots of compliments. He’ll tell you how great you look, and comment on how you move about a room, walk, sit, or pose.
And what you’ll notice is that he uses a deeper voice as he voices all of these compliments. Yes, he has sexual desire for you – take it as a pretty clear sign.
If you notice that he becomes a bit nervous in your presence, this can be a good sign he wants you in a sexual way. However, he’s not sure how you might feel about that.
Maybe he is a bit at a loss for words; maybe he shows some physical fidgeting. He is looking for a sign that you may be on the same page but is just not certain how to make the direct approach.
If you are talking with some other guy, he’ll notice. And he may move in on that conversation or show some displeasure with his body language.
Watch for his reaction and learn how to understand what he communicates in these scenarios. Even if a guy is shy about those reactions, his body language will make things pretty obvious.
Once he sees you at a large family event – a wedding, a funeral, a backyard BBQ, etc, he’ll begin to establish some physical contact. This includes staring at you, staying physically close, and ending up asking for your number. It’s a sure sign that he wants to get closer to you in a physical way.
This flirting game may happen in a number of ways. Many men will wink across a room when you are at the same function. If they have your number, they may send you a text message while you are in the same room or if they have had a first date and are ready for the next level.
Sometimes, these text messages are housed in jokes. He’ll wait for your good reaction and then keep up the flirting until you can get together again.
Guys typically use these messages to compliment your body or make other sexy comments about wanting to see more of your body. When a guy makes these kinds of statements, whether through texts or from his own lips, you have huge signs he wants you badly sexually.
When you are together or even just chatting on dating apps, the guy is happy to tell you about his sexual relationship with his exes.
Pay close attention to how he speaks about them. Is it only about the sex, or does he discuss other aspects of the relationships too? If the relationships were short and only about sex, you might consider this a huge red flag, especially if you want more than sex. The guy may not be at all into committed relationships.
Other men might not be so communicative or could be the shy type, so they hold back a bit. But this guy wants you to know he is definitely sticking around – the guy wants you badly.
Even if it is only on the phone, he obviously wants to spend time with you.
This is an interesting sign. It can reveal itself even when you are at a casual event, such as participating in a softball game.
Other men just might show up in more ragged clothing, knowing they’re going to get dirty and sweaty. This guy, though, will want to shower and change immediately, always looking his very best in your presence. He wants you to be sexually attracted to him too.
Such attentiveness means he doesn’t want you to think he has other stuff going on that could be more important. And if he isn’t able to return them right away, he will tell you why, so you know that there was a good reason.
Related reading: When No Response is a Response – How to Know
A guy may begin with jokes about sex just to see how the woman responds. If that woman acts not just surprised but a little turned off, he can then back off.
But if you laugh and appreciate his humor, he will be encouraged to begin to talk about what sex might be like with you. Now it’s up to you to respond as you wish, but just know it’s one of the most obvious signs the guy wants you badly. Your choice; your decision.
So, you have talked about the type of music you like, or you have gone to a concert by a favorite artist. He shows up or sends you a playlist of the artist’s greatest hits. He has found out what kind of candy you love and sends you a box.
One woman reported that she happened to mention she loved anchovies and received a can in the mail. Or he may drop by your work with your favorite latte. What’s going on? He is trying to win you over, and his goal may certainly be sex.
There is nothing subtle about this at all. Seeing you in private in something really sexy means he wants to take you to bed – make no mistake about it.
He may even ask you if he can purchase you some lingerie or actually have some sent to you with a short message like, “I’d love to see you in this. When can we make this happen?”.
Related reading: Want Some Spice? Add a Sexual Surprise to Your Sex Life
Every time he sees you, whether that is in person or in a virtual chat, he has nothing but compliments about your physical appearance, about how you phrase things, etc. Again, he is trying to win you over, to make you feel all “warm and fuzzy” toward him.
But here’s the thing. Is he just warming you up for sex, or does he really want a relationship too?
You might be dealing with a “player” – a guy who is only interested in sexual conquests. Here’s a video you may want to watch to know the signs. And, of course, if you discover that he may be a “player,” you have to decide what your goals are too. Maybe you are just ready to see how he is in bed, with no strings attached.
Maybe he has sent you some lingerie and wants to see how you look in it. So, he asks you to send him a picture of you wearing it. And you might be happy to oblige.
Just remember this: If you send a photo, NEVER show your face. Photos have a way of making their way around the Internet, and you might not want your Aunt Sally or your co-workers to see you like that. Be safe.
Okay, so we all agree that unsolicited nudes are a big red flag, but those increasingly sexy pictures he sends are a major clue. That shirtless photo, or the one with his legs spread casually, absolutely screams that he wants you. The next move is yours! What are you gonna do about it?
Now It’s Your Turn! If you are sure he is flirting, and you enjoy the situation, try to flirt back. See where the banter goes, and learn how he really thinks.
In the event that he does send pics that are offensive, set boundaries quickly. Guys should know better than that at this point.
Do his friends affectionately tease you? That’s pretty normal. It can even be a positive thing. It indicates that you are being accepted into his circle.
However, he may get a bit snappish with his pals and their clowning ways. The last thing he needs is for them to ruin things by insulting you or driving you off.
So, if he snarls at his pals to knock it off or remember their manners, he probably sees you as a future sexual partner.
He may only see you as a pal if your usual get-togethers are spur-of-the-moment or casual hangouts. But when he starts planning dates and working to make you feel special, you can bet that is an indicator that he is interested in sex.
The downside here is that he may not be romancing you. Instead, this could be his way of creating an expectation that you owe him something. To be very clear, you absolutely do not.
Let’s be honest. When it’s late at night, that combination of loneliness and horniness really hit the hardest. If he is texting after midnight, you can be pretty sure it isn’t to discuss the latest book he’s reading.
That’s good news if you know he is single for sure. Just be aware that a late-night booty call could be a huge red flag that he sees you as a sidepiece.
Guys know that most ladies want to be valued for more than their bodies or sexual prowess. You have thoughts and opinions. Naturally, if he is attracted to you, and wants to have sex he will show an interest in your opinions.
Your job is to determine if he is since, or if he is faking the respectful routine to get what he wants.
There is an old adage: “Be wary of the gentleman. He may just be a patient wolf.” Here, you can think of Little Red Riding Hood – that wolf was on the patient side to achieve his goal of gobbling her up.
And if you are looking for a relationship beyond sex, you will need to look for the signs he wants you for more than just sex. If that’s not your goal, don’t worry about it. The two of you are giving each other notice that sex is your primary goal.
The point is this: You have to decide what you want from this encounter, and you have to be true to yourself – after all, Shakespeare once said, “To thine own self be true.” And nothing could be truer in this boy-girl thing.
Pay attention to everything he says or does – his body language, the type of talk he engages in, what happens on a date, how he behaves in all sorts of settings, how he makes physical contact with your body, and the other signs he wants you listed above.
If a relationship is your goal, look for signs that the person likes you, in addition to just being interested in your body. Here are a few of them:
These are some of the clearest signs that he wants more than just sex.
Related reading: What Are You Looking for in a Relationship?
How do you feel about that? You need to do some “soul searching” here to decide exactly what you want out of this situation.
If you have a major sexual attraction to this man and having sex with him is a clear goal, then your decision is basically made. You will probably go ahead and have sex with no strings attached. but you need to be mindful that if he is only going for sex, he is probably having sex with other women too. This can be a health/safety concern, so be prepared in advance for this.
If, on the other hand, you don’t want sex without a relationship, then you need to remember that you are in charge of yourself and your body. You don’t exist to please anyone else. If you are not sure of his intentions, then you can be the aggressive one and just ask. But be aware of this: a “player” will often lie, pretending to want a relationship but planning to dump you once the sex wears off and he is on to someone else.
There is another possibility. He may be very interested in having a relationship with you while you are only there for the sex. In that case, you need to be completely honest with him. Don’t get his expectations up. You are both bound to be disappointed if you do.
There are obviously plenty of signs he wants you badly sexually. But is he the right person for you right now where you are at?
Sex and relationships are really complicated. Yes, there are signs he wants you badly for sex. But there are also signs that he wants a relationship beyond just sex.
It’s up to you how you respond to who he appears to be and who you think he really is, based on your interactions with him. But more important is who you are and what you really want.
If you see the signs he wants you badly sexually, but you don’t see the signs that he wants a relationship, then you are the one who gets to decide how this moves forward. Pay attention to your “gut” and have a talk with yourself about what you really want.
The only one you have to please is yourself. And you have options. Weigh those options against your feeling and choose the best for you. Then communicate! That is how you both know what you want and how to manage your expectations. If you can’t talk, you should not be having sex.