Locking lips in a kiss can be one of the first things you do when you have found a potential partner and relationship. But how to make out and make this experience unforgettable? You know it’s much more than that simple and quick peck that you may have planted gently on a forehead or a cheek in the beginning. You’re now ready for that kiss on the lips, and you probably have not thought a lot about it – you’re in the mood and you just do it.
But what have you done to prepare for this moment? Of course, it should be spontaneous, like a natural impulse at the moment. But are you the best kisser you can be or do you just think it’s aiming for your partner’s mouth and start kissing?
If all you want is kissing and more kissing, you are probably satisfied with your style. And that style may lead to sex eventually. But kissing should be foreplay to greater foreplay, and that foreplay is called making out.
If you really want great foreplay that involves kissing, then you need to learn how to make out and have an epic make-out session at that. Here is your guide.
How to Make Out Like a Master
Your basic steps should include proper preparation, setting the right environment and mood, building sexual tension, mastering the art of kissing, and passing the wealth around. Let’s take a closer look at each of these stages of mastering the make out art.
Step 1 – Preparation for a Make-Out Session
If you think that when you and your latest squeeze get together, there’s going to be lots of kissing (and more), then are certain things you need to do in preparation. Pay attention to these – they’re important. Star with your head, not your libido.
Your Breath
This should go without saying, but a reminder won’t hurt. You may be a great kisser, but if your breath is bad, it will be the biggest turnoff ever. Brush your teeth and use a mouthwash before you meet up. And, if you are going to be spending an entire evening out and about before that make-out session starts, better have a breath mint in your pocket or purse to keep that breath fresh. A clean and fresh mouth cannot be underestimated.
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Your Body
Your and your partner’s body language is one thing. It sends all sorts of messages as you go through an evening that a make-out will be on the horizon at the end of the date. But there is another aspect of the impact of your body – hygiene. If you even suspect that a make out session might end your evening, then make sure you have showered, shaved, deodorized, and maybe some cologne? And it wouldn’t hurt to use some serious lotion on those hands. Making out will involve special touches on your partner’s body, not to mention that you may hold hands during the evening.
Your Lips
Dry and chapped lips are not fun and do not make for a great kiss. Lip balm of some sort is definitely called for – keep it with you so you can refresh. And don’t forget those fingernails -nothing would be worse than scratching your partner’s neck, face, or ear – how embarrassing.
While these may seem ridiculous to mention, it’s worth a reminder. You may not take this kind of detailed care if you are only on a first date and don’t anticipate making out. But you never know where things may lead, even on a first date. The best kisses can stimulate libidos and lead to much more, even on that first date.
Step 2 – Choose the Right Environment and Set the Mood
You’re not in high school anymore. Back then, making out on the couch at your friend’s house or in the car was probably the type of environment you had. And your idea of making out was lots of kisses. with closed mouth and then some tongue action, and then groping around as you moved down your partner’s body and they moved down yours.
Now that you’re an adult, making out takes on a new meaning and a new style.
You need a completely private place. Fortunately, as an adult, at least one of you may have your own pad. And if you have a roommate, make sure they will be out or that at least your bedroom is private.
And please mute the phones. Your ex might be smashing you with calls or texts (or worse, your mom).
The right environment will really help set the mood. If your make-out partner comes to your place, for example, make sure it’s clean and inviting. Clothes on the floor, last night’s beer bottles still on the tables, and a messy bathroom set a totally different mood, and it’s not a good one. for kissing or anything else. Women especially appreciate a clean place.
Psychological and Physical Mood-Setting
The other part of setting the mood is psychological. Dim the lights, maybe light some scented candles, and begin some low-key quiet conversation. Establish eye contact while you are gently touching their arm or shoulder. If you are sitting, make sure your bodies are touching. This kind of body language lets your partner know you are ready, and, if they are too, they will welcome those moves. If they’re not, they will put some distance between the two of you and change the conversation to something light or funny. This is not the time to make your moves.
Step 3 – Building Sexual Tension, or Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Once you know how to make out right, you’ll understand that it cannot be rushed. More on that later. But for now, just understand that going slowly will gradually increase the passion you both feel and make the whole session much more satisfying (not to mention it might lead to a homerun).
Building sexual tension should happen even before that first kiss. And that tension can build through both words and physical moves. Some of this was mentioned above, but here are some moves you can make.
- Run your fingers through their hair or across their forehead and down a cheek while giving them compliments in a low tone.
- Move in with your face and rub your noses, keeping that eye contact. Maybe then plant a soft kiss on their forehead or cheek.
- Wrap their hands in yours, look into their eyes, and tell them how great they look or how attractive they are to you. Then plant a kiss.
- Don’t start with a passionate kiss right away. Remember, you want to build that tension. A quick peck will do for now.
- Put your hands on their shoulders and move down their arms very gently. If you get a nice response, put your arms around them and pull them in cheek-to-cheek, while you run your arms up and down their back.
Step 4 – Perfecting That Kiss
“It’s a dance…start slow and tune into the pace of your partner…be playful, sensual, and romantic…Is the first kiss really that important? You bet your regal lips it is!”
Karen Lee Poter, dating coach
First of all, a perfect kiss takes practice. And every partner will be different. So what may be a good kiss to one may not be to another. But if you have all of the techniques mastered, you can then modify as you go, based upon your partner’s responses. As you modify your techniques, you’ll hit upon a natural rhythm that works for both of you.
There are many ways to kiss. Here are a few techniques for a kiss that will make you far more artful and probably get you the response you want:
- Cup your partner’s face as you go in for that kiss. This is really sexy and can be a big turn-on for your partner
- Go in for a gentle bite on the lower lip before you plant that kiss
- Suck on your partner’s top lip (or the bottom lip if you want). Easy does it, though. You don’t want to be like a vacuum cleaner. Then wait a moment and go in for the kiss.
- Use your tongue for some sensual play. Run it over your partner’s lips and then gently probe the lips if they are closed. If they open their mouth you are ready for French kissing and some more sensual play. A French kiss can be one of the sexiest and most erotic activities. Both of you will be aroused.
Once you have been locking lips for a while and things are going well, it’s time to be a good kisser elsewhere.
Related reading: Should You Kiss on the First Date?
Step 5 – Passing the Wealth Around
OK. Take a deep breath and maybe a hot breath. It’s time to move to other erogenous zones besides the lips. Want some advice? You don’t need a dating coach for this. Use your own sense of how things are going and begin with the closest and easiest spots first.
- The neck can be highly erogenous and a few kisses, accompanied by a low moan or two, may result in a responsive moan from your squeeze.
- Don’t neglect the ear lobes. This has long been known to be an erogenous zone. Even nibbling on them can get a real rise from lots of people.
- There are plenty of other erogenous zones too – kiss the feet and toes, the inside of the wrists, the thighs, stomach, breasts and nipples, etc. And for those that are more intimate or require taking clothes off, obviously, get consent first.
Individuals differ about what parts of their bodies are actually erogenous. If you are comfortable with doing it, you might ask.
Related reading: How to Be a Better Lover – Inside and Out
8 More “Tricks of the Trade”
If you follow the steps above, you’ll be a better kisser than the majority of your peers. And remember, all of this takes practice – you’ll not be a master and feel comfortable with every move on your first-time partner’s lips or any part of their whole body this first time out. And using that tongue masterfully will take some practice too.
Now, here are a few more tips to refine your techniques even more:
- Don’t get carried away and push your luck, especially if this is the first time with a new squeeze is and you two haven’t made out a lot yet. Again, use your head. Pay attention to their body language. If you make a move that they’re not ready for, chances are they’ll take hold of your hand or stiffen up. When this happens, stop.
- You can and should talk during the session. Of course, that talk can include warm words of pleasure and compliments. But it’s also okay to ask before you leap into some new and more intimate move. This will not be the last session you have, so give it time, and don’t take “no” as a rejection of you. Use your head. They just aren’t ready yet.
- Pay attention to movements of your partner and imitate them. This is especially true if your partner is more experienced than you. For example, if they are using their tongue to trace around your lips, do the same to them. They are doing what probably has felt good to them in the past, so take their cues.
- Start without the tongue at first. There are other sexy things you can do with just your lips. A soft kiss on closed eyelids, for example, won’t require a tongue and yet will show lots of warmth and desire and that you are interested in more.
- When you get your tongue involved, be creative. That tongue can do many erotic things as mentioned above. Unless you are French kissing, keep your tongue as free of spit as possible. A tongue is very sexual but not if it is slobbering on someone. And let your partner’s tongue take the lead too. You’ll find out what that partner likes in that kind of action.
- Don’t lose your sense of humor. Not every makeout session will be glorious and perfect. Your out-of-town roommate comes home early; someone is blowing up your phone with messages – ping, ping, ping. You may bump your heads just as things are getting juicy. This is not the time to get yourself in a “wad.” Laugh it off.
- Don’t go limp with your hands. Hands are just as important as lips in a makeout session. Use them to caress. Run your fingers through their hair (caution: not everyone likes getting their hair messed up, so if they stiffen up, stop and move to the nape of the neck with the tips of your fingers.
- Switch it up. If you’ve been lip-locking for a while, do something different. Nibble the bottom lip, move to kisses on the neck, shoulders, chest, etc. Making out only with kissing and hugging is boring. And of all things, you don’t want to bore your partner.
Are You a Master Yet?
Probably not. But if you take these steps and strategies to heart, you are well on your way to learning how to make out. And remember these key takeaways:
- Kissing is critical but not the only part of making out. You can spice things up with a passionate kiss that then moves on to kissing other body parts.
- Use your mouth creatively. Stop kissing the lips and take that mouth elsewhere. Explore each other’s bodies with the mouth, yes, but take a break and get the tips of those fingers, hands, and arms involved.
- If you have a more experienced partner, take cues from them.
- Go slowly, get increasingly intense with those kisses, find those sensitive parts, pause and wait in between moves, and take your time making those moves.
- Most people appreciate a little levity – if you’re a bit nervous, admit it and laugh.
And the most important thing? Realize there is no perfect way to start making out or to end a session. Respect each other’s boundaries, focus on having a good time, and let that partner know you are interested in future sessions as the relationship moves forward.
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