Texting is incredibly important these days. According to Chicago Tribune, Americans who have smartphones send and receive 5X more text messages than the number of actual phone calls in a day. Thus, your texting skills are extremely important these days – and if you’re a dry texter, chances are you won’t be as successful in your love life as you deserve to be.
With some people the old saying “Don’t mince words” is perfectly fine – they don’t want long responses when ask how was your day. But if your SO asks the same question, they most likely want to know more. And in this case, you appear as a dry texter – and should try to change your ways in order to save your bond strong and meaningful.
Communication involves two or more people engaged in a conversation. It should go at least in two ways, and one or two-word comments don’t equal a real conversation.
Texting is the same. It is meant to be a conversation – unless you are just asking or being asked for a simple answer, with the questions like “Are we meeting at 7?” or “Is your plane arriving on time?”.
But most text conversations are not supposed to be that simple, especially if the conversation is with someone you are interested in romantically. It will give the impressions that you are a boring texter at best and a boring person at worst. And even worse, it can give the impression that you are just not interested. It can be a big turnoff. And if you are a constant giver of dry texts, be prepared to be cut off.
Related reading: The Best Flirty Conversation Starters
You shouldn’t be talkative and explain everything in detail whenever someone significant asks you a question. Here are some situations where being a dry texter is totally okay.
You are in a meeting. Or you are in the middle of a big project at work and just can’t lose focus right now. Probably, you are simply at home, but have company and can’t respond with a longer message.
So, it’s okay to go with a quick phrase and short response to indicate the reason. Something like, “Really busy. TTYL” would be a good one.
If someone sees you as a “crush” and they want to make things exciting with you, they may pepper you with texts hoping for the right response. You may be hesitant to hurt their feelings, and you decide that the best way to deal with it is to dry text.
But if you hope that they will get the hint, lose interest, and eventually stop sending those “come on” messages, they won’t. So you’ll probably have to “bite the bullet” and just send a longer message – something like, “I’m not really interested, so please stop texting me.”
Both of you are probably not feeling pleased with each other right now, and your text messages will show that. So short and very dry messages will probably be the “rule” until you have patched things up.
But here’s the thing: if your texting style is dry with everyone you are messaging, especially if you want to keep things interesting and work toward a happy relationship with someone, you will need to learn how to boost your texting skills. And this will take some work on your part.
Now on to some strategies that will help you learn how to not be a dry texter. Use them to learn how to not be a dry texter and be someone who can start talking with your typed words.
I had a really good time last night. Really. REALLY❗
This is probably the toughest. You are so used to giving one-word answers; it has become a habit. And maybe you just have a tough time using that phone keyboard. In that case, use the app that will type as you speak. You will automatically be talking and keeping the conversation going.
If you want to add some visuals, most phones have emoji, meme, or gif keyboards, so you may have to actually use a finger to tap your choices, but that’s a pretty minor task.
And here’s the other thing: the more you force yourself to do this, the easier it will become. You’ll no longer be a “certified dry texter.”
I had a great time last night
How about you?
So, you have met someone at an event (even at a bar), had a great conversation, and became attracted to each other. You have even exchanged numbers at the end of your time together and have gone on your way knowing you’d like to see them again.
The old rule of the male having to be the one to make the first move is just that – old. Being male or female just doesn’t matter. Now, don’t text as soon as you leave the place where you met. Wait until you are at least home or ideally, the next day.
When you are ready to text, think first about what you want to say. And it has to be at least one full sentence. “Good morning” or “How are you” don’t count. Start with a first-person I message. Something like, “I really liked our conversation last night. When can we have another one?” See, you’re not a boring texter! You’ve begun a conversation that needs a response.
Now, just hope your crush is not a dry texter and will respond with a positive answer. If that answer is positive, then your duty is to take a minute, think about where and when you might want to meet up, and text with an offer.
Guess what? You’re now actually having a conversation via text. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
I hear your favorite song right now. Thinking of you.
In the above scenario, let’s say you have gotten home and you are really thinking about this person. So, you decide to send a text.
Now, if you are a dry texter, you simply write, “Good night.” Really? What would be the purpose of this? Maybe you think it shows interest, and it probably does. But think about a larger purpose and use those “I” messages instead. And ask a question at the end.
Now, one-word replies at this point could indicate a lack of interest. Or, it might mean they are still out and about and still busy with other people. Think a bit about what your purpose is and wait until the next day when you have it fully baked in your head.
Are you a morning person or an evening person?
What are these? Well, these are the things of which boring conversations are made. “How are you,” “WYD,” “Good morning,” “Good night,” and such are generic questions. And if you are talking to another dry texter, you’ll get a dry answer – “Fine,” “Nothing much,” or “Good night.” Way to kill a conversation.
The best advice? If you don’t really have something to say that will keep the conversation going, just don’t text at all.
Related reading: How to Keep a Conversation Going with a Girl
One thing that you might want to do to just generally learn how to not be a dry texter is to do some related reading. And some of that reading should relate to asking the right questions that will require more than a one or two-word response and that will keep a conversation going and make the person feel that you are really interested. If your crush is new in your life, here are some examples:
And if you get questions like this, take a minute to think through what you will say. Force yourself to text back messages that expand on your answer.
I saw something funny today. Hahaha
One of the best ways to have great text conversations is to be funny. And if you tend to be a boring texter, this is one of the easiest ways how to not be a dry texter. Of course, you can use funny gifs, memes, and emojis in your texts to make your crush smile. After all, a funny meme can spark the feeling that you took some time to find something amusing to send – it shows interest.
But you can do more than that too:
Maybe you are a pretty good conversationalist in person. It’s just this texting thing that doesn’t work for you, and the other person feels that you are just not that interested. After all, one-word responses are certainly not encouraging. So, you can avoid one-word responses by using audio instead.
Now there are two phone apps you can use
See? You can make up your own rules here, and you’ll no longer be a boring texter.
Do you think dogs or cats make better pets?
This is a great way to get a text conversation going and show some interest in your new crush. And you won’t look like a boring texter if you do this. Here are a few “rules” about this:
Once you have had conversations on these simpler items, you can move on to more serious ones. Again, make sure you have formulated your own opinion for a good response. You might want to ask a question like, “Do you think it is ever okay to tell a white lie?” Or maybe, “What’s the most important quality a person should have?”
And your responses will have to be far more than just a few words. You are on your way to becoming a good texter.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
Surely you have strong feelings about things, and there is something that you find exciting. What are those things? Think of interesting questions you can ask your new crush about these topics.
When you get a response, you have something far less boring to talk about. And these messages will breathe life into your growing relationship.
You’ve been on my mind a lot today – oh gosh, the day’s only a few hours old.
If you are trying to show someone you are definitely interested, there are ways to show it through some fun and indirect flirting. Here are a few ways that will be more than just a simple, “You’re fun to be with.”
Here are some texting ideas to accomplish this:
I remember you told me you sometimes binge-watch some Netflix series. What is your favorite one right now?
If you were going after a new job, what would you do? You’d invest time and energy in prepping for that interview, wouldn’t you? Well, consider texting to be an investment in a relationship you want to begin or maintain. It will take time and energy, and a part of that is figuring out how not to be a dry texter.
You don’t have to spend hours agonizing over how you will word your messages. But you do need to make them meaningful. Here are a couple of things you can do:
Here’s a not-so-short list of do’s and don’ts to help you know how to not be a dry texter.
Try to get into a real conversation about a more interesting topic than just what you did at work. That’s just boring. Instead, share something fun or crazy that happened. Here is what else you can do:
Don’t give up. Good texting skills don’t come overnight. Keep talking, keep practicing. You’ll become a better texter with time. Here is what else you shouldn’t do:
Now go forth and become a texting master!