After taking a required Intro to Psychology course as an undergrad, I have never looked back. Since my doctoral program, I have specialized in adult relationship therapy. Through my studies and clinicals, I wrote several articles for professional journals and currently in the midst of writing a book.
8 Things You Can Do to Cheer Up Your Girlfriend
There can be different reasons why your girlfriend feels blue. She may not get that promotion she was counting on; maybe her pet died, or she had a major falling out with a good friend. Whatever the cause, it would be great if you were there as a person who gives some support. But where do you begin? What can you do? If you want to know how to cheer up your girlfriend, this list of eight things will help you to get started.
8 Great Things You Can Do to Cheer Her Up
This list covers it all, so you can start with a few ideas and work your way through, depending on your relationship and her situation.
1. Get Her to Talk About It
People release negative emotions in various ways. Some of us achieve catharsis via physical exercise; others may use meditation. Your girlfriend likely gets to it by venting or talking about what’s on her mind or causing her bad vibes. If so, getting those feelings out will make her feel much better.
In essence, your job to cheer up your girlfriend is to make her feel seen and validated:
- Listen intently to what she is saying and keep eye contact
- Give her a chance to get everything out without interrupting
- Validate her feelings with nods and other nonverbal responses
- Be an active listener – rephrase what she says so she knows you understand what she means
- If she asks for it, provide her a recommendation or advice
When she has finished, ask her if she feels better. If so, suggest that you do something unrelated – watch a movie, make dinner, go out for a walk or a drink – whatever she would like to do that will make her feel even better.
Related reading: When Your Romantic Interest Has Trust Issues
2. Help Her De-Stress
It’s hard to cheer up someone if you cannot change the situation that causes them initial stress, like issues at work or someone’s illness. When it comes to your relationship, you don’t have enough power to change her situation, but you can help your girlfriend to feel better and de-stress by getting her mind off of those problems.
To help her de-stress, give her some options of what might help to cheer her up – go to a club and dance, go out with some friends, give her a massage, take a bubble bath together, etc. The point is this: show her that you care about her problems, you are there for her, and whatever she thinks will be a “pick me up,” you’re all for doing.
3. Give Lots of Physical Affection
The benefits of physical touch and affection, according to research studies, include:
- emotional well-being
- reduction of heart rate and blood pressure
- lowering of cortisol, the stress hormone
- increase in feelings of trust and safety
- activation of oxytocin, the “feel good” and bonding hormone
It’s important to remember that physical affection is not limited to sexual activity. It refers to all affection types, like hugging, holding her hand, cuddling, or just touching the cheek or arm. These things go a long way to show your girlfriend that you are there for her and want to see how you can make her feel better.
Related reading: Understanding Physical Touch Love Language
4. Do Something Randomly for Her
Be spontaneous about things you do for her. These acts can be small tokens or larger things, depending on what you both have time for.
Small Tokens to Cheer Up Your Girlfriend
- Send her a favorite lunch to cheer up and show your girl that you care about the stressors she is facing at work
- Show up with her favorite candy bar to cheer up your girlfriend with a quick mood boost
- Send your girlfriend a surprise playlist of her favorite music
- Take her out to her favorite restaurant or club for a night out to cheer up your girl and help her mind on some temporary fun
- Get up early and surprise her with her favorite coffee and breakfast roll – the best way to cheer up your girlfriend before her day begins
- Send her funny memes that you know will make her laugh
- Send her an “I love you” text from across the room
- Surprise her with concert tickets to her favorite artist
If you want to know how to cheer her up with small gestures, this is just a start. You know her well and can decide better how to give her a small yet meaningful gift.
Larger Ways to Cheer Up Your Girlfriend
- If she likes animals, and you know her favorite kinds, take her to the pet store and buy one for her. This is one of the ways to make her happy at the moment, but it also could be the best way to brighten her up over time as she cares for that pet (and thinks of you as she does so).
- How about a vacation? Talk about a great way to cheer up your girlfriend! Tell her you want to take her to a place she has always wanted. Just making the plans will begin to cheer up your girlfriend, not to mention when you actually take her.
- Wondering how to cheer up your girlfriend in the long run? Think about a new hobby you both might enjoy together. Sign up for a cooking class or volunteer at an animal shelter. Here’s the thing about these activities: you don’t just do this with her one time. There is the anticipation the girl will feel each time the class or other activity rolls around. Plus, as for everyone else, doing something that benefits others is always a way to cheer up.
Related reading: Getting Romantic Gifts to Her: No More Stress!
5. Simplify Her Life
When life gets complicated, it becomes stressful. No surprise, it’s hard to know how to cheer yourself up when all you can think about is everything that is on your plate.
Here’s how to cheer up your girlfriend when she is in this state:
- Cheer up your girl by offering to take some basic errands off her plate, like picking up her dry cleaning and doing some housecleaning for her
- Get her out of the kitchen, cooking dinner for her a few times a week or bringing in takeout
- Make her work or school life easier, like doing research for her and making sure you clear her at-home work environment offers the best way for her to focus without distractions
- Whether you live together or apart, cheer up your girlfriend by creating a small, attractive workspace for her where she can find comfort as she works or studies
These actions to simplify life for your girlfriend will bring comfort permanently, cheer up her mood, and make her feel better about tackling those tasks.
6. Foster a Sense of Gratitude
If you want to know how to cheer up your girlfriend regularly, you can use your positive attitude to help her. When she’s feeling low, it’s easy to focus on the negative things in her life. Thus, a great way to cheer up your girlfriend is to remind her daily what she can be thankful for.
Here are some of your options:
- Get your girlfriend to focus on the positives in her life as something she must do every day
- Put a sign on the refrigerator with “Gratitude” in big letters
- Develop the gratitude habit together
Cheer up your girlfriend by telling her about the positive things in your day, and listen to her as she relates hers. If you cheer up your girlfriend this way, it will have a more lasting effect.
And don’t forget that one of the best ways to cheer up your girlfriend is to tell her you are grateful that she is in your life at least once a day.
7. Bring Humor to the Table
It’s hard for your girlfriend to stay low if she has plenty of laughter in her life. If you’ve never seen the movie “Patch Adams,” you should watch how a doctor can cheer up sick and hospitalized children with humor. And research shows that when couples share humor, they are both happier.
Come up with your own ideas on brightening her day with humor and laughter. You know her best. But if you are not sure how to cheer up your girlfriend with humor, here are a few suggestions:
- Take her out to a comedy club featuring comedians you know she will appreciate
- Set up a double date with friends and make a night of group laughter to cheer up your girl
- Make her laugh by clowning around when she’s had a rough day
- Surprise your girlfriend with a bunch of silly balloons and a crazy outfit
- Send random memes and jokes if you’re apart during the day or living separately to cheer up your girlfriend
- Find ways to be playful as a good tactic how to cheer up your girlfriend
- Stream funny TV series she loved to stay up late laughing together
- Find a funny story or two with some funny cards each day to read or send to her via snail mail
If you’re struggling with ways how to cheer up your girlfriend, just let her know that you are thinking of her. This simple gesture will make her smile, and you don’t need to be funny or become a bearer of humor in her daily grind to make her life better.
8. Plan Creative and Unique Dates to Cheer Up Your Girlfriend
What do you usually do on a date with her? Chances are you may go out to dinner, maybe to a club or a movie. If so, think about what you can do to cheer up your girlfriend with some unique dates she will enjoy when feeling low.
Here are some creative date ideas that just might work on her mood:
- Round up other couples and plan an escape room experience of her favorite theme
- Go to an amusement park with your girlfriend and let her choose the rides she loved years ago
- Be a hero by winning her a stuffed animal and eat cotton candy and other treats together.
- Book a spa day – that’s one of the best ways ever how to cheer your girlfriend if she is feeling low or stressed ever. There are couples spas – one of the best things to cheer up your girl. Spoil her and yourself too.
- Make an appointment to get a couple’s tattoo. Of course, you need to be sure in advance that she is up for this. Casually ask her about tattoos well in advance, and then spring it on her for a surprise.
- Re-do your first date with her. What person in a relationship doesn’t remember their first date? And this might just be the thing to cheer up a partner who is feeling low about your relationship.
- Take her on a hot-air balloon or a small plane ride if your budget allows.
- Have you ever heard of date-night subscription boxes? Not only is this a perfect way to cheer up your girl, but you don’t have to do the planning. If you’re a person who has a tough time coming up with creative ways to cheer up a lover, try these.
- Take a paint and sip class. Again, if you’re not good at lots of pre-planning, spring this one on her. All you need to plan is to make the reservation, let her know the time, and show up.
- Host an at-home mystery night. Try to include her best friends. Again, there are kits for this, so you only need to come up with snacks and beverages.
- What holidays are important to her? Try to plan a special date to celebrate each of those. Give her a trip to a pumpkin patch and maze for Halloween; get ornament-making kits for Christmas; give her an Easter egg hunt; if she is of another religion, listen to her stories about holiday traditions and show her respect for those by planning activities to celebrate them.
An extra tip here? Pull a surprise on her. Give her a few simple instructions such as how to dress and what time to be read and let her wonder what’s in store. It’s fun to be a little mysterious.
Take Away
If your girlfriend needs a mood boost, you need to think of her, what will bring a smile to her face, a light in her eyes, and the understanding that you care enough to see her through her low times with a consistent effort to make things better. Is there one best way to cheer her? Of course not. But these tips and actions will give you some great ideas.